


Darcy Lewis Hat Trick Challenge

by Rhiannon_A_Christy



Series: Hat Trick Series [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fantasy, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Other, Romance, Tragedy, hat trick writing challenge, unconnected oneshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 08:41:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 40,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1260064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhiannon_A_Christy/pseuds/Rhiannon_A_Christy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of oneshots originally posted on my Tumblr based off of a self given challenge. Each oneshot is Darcy paired with one of the other characters from Thor/Avengers/Iron Man. Each OS is rated different. Includes Romance, Friendship and so on and so forth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Reason To Believe, Tony Stark

_Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #One:_

_Character: Tony Stark/Iron Man_

_Song: Bang A Drum ~ Chris LeDoux/Jon Bon Jovi_

_Genre: Friendship/Romance/Drama_

_Spoiler Alert: Itsy Bitsy little spoiler for IM3, like seriously small, since most people already know about it, otherwise completely AU._

_Rating: M, but only for the use of the F word._

* * *

Reason To Believe

* * *

_"Bang a drum for tomorrow_

_Bang a drum for the past_

_Bang a drum for the heroes_

_That won't come back"_

* * *

Darcy stood in the doorway, watching with sad eyes as Tony took another long drink of his scotch. He had been that way since Pepper walked out of his life a month ago. Darcy never thought she would see the day that Pepper would actually leave, but there they were, Tony spending his days in the bottle and Pepper off God knows where.

She hated to see him this way, he hadn't even once worked on his suits. She could really beat the crap out of Pepper, leaving Tony when he still didn't have a full handle on his PTSD. She knew he was a lot to handle, Darcy had pretty much taken over for Pepper where that concerned when she took the job for him five months before. The late nights, the random bouts of anger, the panic attacks. She had dealt with them all.

Darcy walked into the room, slipping off her heels by the door as she went. Tony didn't even look at her as she sat down beside him on the couch. She sighed and reached over, taking the glass from him.

"If you're going to drink that, at least refill it." She sat it down on the floor and curled her feet under herself, leaning into Tony. She reached out a hand and ran it through his hair.

"The bar just closed, Tony." He turned to look at her, his eyes wet from the tears he refused to let fall. She knew in his mind to do so would be a weakness, and Iron Man was anything but weak. That was the problem, Iron Man wasn't, but the man behind the suit was.

"I'm sure we can find one that is still open." Darcy shook her head, her hand still running through his hair. She scratched the base of his neck, watching as his eyes closed halfway before he realized what he was doing.

"No, Tony, no more drinking. It is time to go to bed." He hung his head, his whole body leaning towards her. She removed her hand from his hair and gathered him up in her arms. She rocked him back and forth as one might do a child.

"How long before you leave?" Darcy's heart was about to shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. Damn that woman, damn the world! She pressed her lips to the top of his head, speaking quietly into his hair.

"No less than forever and a day." Tony laughed and lifted his head so he could look into her eyes.

"That long, huh?" He removed himself from her and reached down to take the glass. Not knowing what else to do, Darcy slipped a foot from under her and knocked the glass over. They both watched as the amber liquid spread across the floor like spilled blood.

"That scotch cost more than your new car." Darcy stood from the couch and went to the bar to grab a rag. She watched from the corner of her eyes as Tony watched the scotch puddle.

"Your fucking boxers cost more than my new car, but you leave them lying around the tower willy-nilly." Tony raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well, they wouldn't if you would just allow me to buy you a car." She shook her head and kneeled down on the floor to dab up the spilled drink.

"I already told you I want to earn the things I buy." Tony snorted, but didn't say anything as he sat back on the couch. She looked up wondering why he hadn't made some witty comeback, only to find that Tony must have had the bottle hidden between the cushions as he was taking a long pull from it. Angry, Darcy stood up and grabbed the bottle from him, flinging it across the room. Scotch spilled all down the front of his shirt, soaking him through.

"What did you do that for?!" Completely tired of it all, Darcy tossed the rag on the floor and sat down once more beside Tony.

"I know you hurt, I know things have not gone right for you for years now, but I won't sit here and watch you slowly kill yourself." She grabbed his face, looking him straight in the eyes. He just pulled away and hung his head.

"Wow, forever and a day goes by pretty quickly." Darcy felt her tears fall from her eyes, but she didn't bother to wipe them away. She scooted closer to Tony, wrapping him back into her arms. She rested her chin on his shoulder, placing her mouth at his ear.

"I'm not leaving you. I said I wasn't going to watch you kill yourself, what I meant was that every time you try I'm going to stop you. Because the world needs you, your friends need you." Tony lifted a hand and rested it on hers that sat on his other shoulder.

"Me or Iron Man?" Darcy twinned their fingers together.

"Both. They need Iron Man to protect them, but they also need you…the man. A man of flesh and blood, a man of wit and intelligence." He lifted his head, turning it so their noses touched tip to tip.

"What about you?" Darcy smiled, leaning in to give him a little peck on the lips. She pulled back, a watery smile on her face.

"I need you, very, very much." His brows furrowed in confusion.

"Why?" Darcy slid her free hand to sit just above his heart, pressing in just enough that Tony wouldn't miss it.

"Because as long as this beats I have a reason to believe, I have hope. Don't silence it, Tony." Without a single word Tony agreed with a simple nod, and set his forehead on hers. For the first time, Darcy watched as a tear slipped down Tony's cheek.

* * *


	2. Cowgirl Up, Pepper Potts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Two:_
> 
> _Character: Pepper Pots_
> 
> _Song: Whisky Under The Bridge~ Brooks And Dunn_
> 
> _Genre: Friendship_
> 
> _Spoiler Alert: Not really….Coulson Lives…..Aheam, yeah._
> 
> _Rating: M for suggestive language and the use of the F word._
> 
> * * *

Cowgirl Up

* * *

Darcy plopped down on the barstool next to Pepper, waving at the hot bartender for another round. She looked out of the corner of her eye and sighed. She had hoped that bringing Pepper to her favorite Honky-Tonk would get the woman out of her funk. Apparently she was going to have to do something a bit more drastic.

The bartender set two shots down in front of them and Darcy quickly picked up the whiskey and shot it back like a fucking pro. College was good for something after all.

"Look, Pepper, you've got to stop moping around here. I brought you here for a little boot scootin' boogie, not tears in your beer. So Tony is being an ass, he's always an ass. You know what you've got to do?" Pepper turned to look at her, and Darcy almost giggled. The woman looked so out of place in the booty-up jeans and tank she had lent the older woman. She never thought she would ever see a time where Pepper didn't "own" what she was wearing.

"Darcy, I really don't think this is a good idea. We should just go back to the tower." Darcy rolled her eyes and waved to the bartender again. She would so have to get his number by the end of the night.

"Pepper…." The woman sighed and leaned her elbow on the bar.

"Fine, what is it that I should do?" Darcy shot back both her whiskey and the two that Pepper ignored.

"Cowgirl up and go find you some fine ass in Wranglers. Haven't you ever heard about falling off a horse….you just mount another one." Everyone always uses the term faceplam, but until that moment Darcy have never actually seen anyone do it in real life.

" That is not how the saying goes, Darcy." The younger woman just laughed and grabbed onto Pepper's wrist and dragged her out onto the dance floor.

"It is tonight, Sweetheart!" Darcy pushed Pepper into the middle of a crowd of hot cowboys and laughed as she watched the men latch onto the older woman like leeches. She couldn't say that she wasn't having fun. Pepper was her friend, but she was also her boss. A boss that could be a hard ass at times. Though Darcy hadn't just brought Pepper out to make the woman feel better, no, Darcy had a plan to teach Tony a lesson. She knew by the end of the night Tony would never even think to look at another woman.

Throughout the night Darcy filled Pepper up with enough whisky that the older woman was wildly dancing with any cowboy that asked. Darcy laughed as Pepper mounted the mechanical bull with a cowboy that put Thor to shame behind her. She pulled out her phone and shot another picture, sending it to Tony. That would make the fiftieth picture so far and it wasn't even midnight yet. She waited for the ding of her phone and promptly ignored the text. At first Tony had been amused, saying things like how cute it was that Pepper was trying to make him jealous. After the tenth picture he started getting angry, demanding that she bring Pepper back home.

The night wore on, Darcy finally got the number of the bartender as well as the hot cowboy that was on the bull with Pepper. She was having fun, but now that it was closing in on one she needed to find Pepper, only she couldn't. Damn, if she lost her boss, all shit was going to fly.

After looking all over the place, including the men's room; which was memorable; Darcy finally found her leaning against the far wall with some tight jeaned cowboy with his tongue down her throat. Well, that hadn't been the plan, still she wasn't about to waste that opportunity. She whipped out her phone, snapped a pic and sent it to Tony. Not two sends later her phone started ringing.

"Well Howdy!"

"Miss Lewis, who the fuck is that kissing Pepper?"

"Not sure, number ten I think. I didn't catch his name."

"Number…where the fuck are you?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because if you don't I'm going to tell Coulson it was you that cut the ass out of his pants."

"Fuck, I hate JARVIS. Fine, we're at Outlaws. So what are you going to do?"

"I'm coming to get my fucking fiancee."

"Fiancee is she now?"

"After tonight you better fucking believe it. I'll be there in ten."

Darcy laughed as Tony hung up the phone. Mission accomplished. She looked over to see that the cowboy was still trying to eat her boss's face and she realized just what a problem they would have if Iron Man came in and saw that.

She darted over and tapped the man on the shoulder. He turned around looking rather annoyed until he saw her. He smiled wide and leaned against the wall next to Pepper.

"Hey Baby, wish to join in?" Darcy huffed and rolled her eyes. Figured.

"No, I just thought I would give you a warning. You might want to go find some other woman to stick your tongue down, unless of course you enjoy having your skull crushed." The man laughed and reached out to play with a strand of Darcy's hair.

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" Darcy smirked as everyone in the bar silenced. Tony Stark had arrived.

"Oh, not me, but her boyfriend on the other hand…" The man just laughed again, thinking she was playing him.

"Right, and just who is this boyfriend? I bet I can take him."

"Oh really now? You got a suit?" The man turned around, the annoyed look on his face falling as he came face to face with Iron Man. Darcy couldn't help it, she laughed. The man looked like he was about to piss himself.

"Oh shit, oh fuck!" He turned back to Pepper and backed away with his arms in the air.

"You didn't tell me you were dating Iron Man…..fuck man, I swear I didn't know. Fuck!" Tony just stood there watching as the man shook in his shoes. Darcy decided to take pity on him and sat a hand on Tony's shoulder.

"You better go, I can hold the big bad Iron Man off for you." The man didn't even question Darcy and took off without a look back.

Tony lifted the visor of his mask and shook his head at Pepper. For her part, Pepper stood up straight, fixed her hair and gave Tony a glare. The look in her eyes surprisingly sober.

"About time you got here." Tony and Darcy's mouths dropped, like cartoon dropped.

"How the fuck did you know? Are you even drunk?" Pepper laughed and shook her head.

"Of course not. Did you actually see me drink anything you handed me? And I figured it out after the second picture you sent. I just went along with it, I thought I might as well. Now, are we ready to go home? These boots are killing my feet." Pepper took off out of the bar with Tony and Darcy at her heels.

"Are you sure you want to marry her?" Tony looked down at Darcy with the silliest grin.

"Fuck yeah."

* * *


	3. Humble Pie, Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Three:_
> 
> _Character: Loki_
> 
> _Song: The Worst Pies In London ~ Sweeney Todd Soundtrack_
> 
> _Genre: Humor/Friendship_
> 
> _Spoiler Alert: Nope_
> 
> _Rating: T for mild language_
> 
> * * *

Humble Pie

* * *

Darcy ran a flour covered finger down the page in the book she had propped up against the toaster. She swore the thing said a forth a cup of water, only she couldn't find it now. She huffed, this was ridiculous! She should have just popped down to the damn bakery like Jane suggested.

She looked down in the metal bowl on the counter. Forth a cup of water, right, so maybe she was suppose to add more flour? Surely it wasn't meant to be that runny, how was she to roll out pie crust that was the consistency of pancake batter.

Looking up at the clock she groaned. She had just an hour and a half before the guys returned, and she promised Loki a pie. Damn, she really should have gone to the baker's. She quickly grabbed the bag of flour and reached in, dumping a handful of it into the bowl.

She stirred, added more flour….oops, more water….damn, she forgot the lard!

"Yuck! How can something that makes food so good smell so bad?!" She reached her now batter covered hands into the tub of lard she had bought and dropped the white stuff into the bowl with a wet plop. She growled when she realized that with the lard she wouldn't be able to use her whisk.

She tossed the metal wire utensil into the sink and used her hands to mix the crust. Finally the stuff came together. She dumped it out on the counter and patted it down. She tried to roll it out, but the damn stuff just stuck to the roller. She started pounding it with her fists until it was as thin as she thought it should be. She grabbed the knife, cutting a large circle like they showed in the book. She threw away the extra crust, and carefully lifted the circle and placed it in the pie plate.

Well, damn. The thing was too small, she looked into the trash, but shook her head. She used her hands to pull the crust until it looked like it would cover the whole plate. She ran the back of a hand across her sweaty forehead, not caring that she was just covering herself with flour and lard.

With the crust in the plate, she grabbed another bowl for the filling. She dumped in a couple of sticks of butter. The book said only one, but she figured a second would make the whole thing much richer. In went a cup of buttermilk, two cups of sugar, some flour and vanilla flavoring. She looked at the book and back at the bottle of flavoring in her hand. Surely one teaspoon wasn't enough. She shrugged her shoulders and added a couple of more before dumping almost half the bottle in the bowl.

She cracked the eggs against the edge of the bowl….plop…plop…..plop…damn, a shell feel in. Oh well, it would dissolve during baking. Probably….

After mixing the filling, and of course getting half of it on her, the counters, walls, ceiling, she poured the mixture in the pie plate and stuck the whole thing in the oven. She blinked at the book, no way her pie was going to be ready for when everyone got back if she baked it at three hundred. She switched the oven to four hundred and set her timer. She looked around the kitchen and just shrugged her shoulders. She cooked, everyone else could clean up.

"Hey Loki, you sure you want to eat that pie you made Darcy promise you?" Loki rolled his eyes at Tony, the guy was amusing, but he still wanted to turn him into a worm half of the time. It didn't matter that he worked with the Avengers now, all thanks to Odin. He still hated the lot of them…well all but Darcy. That girl at least made staying at the tower tolerable.

"I don't see why not, she said she could bake." Tony laughed as they walked into the tower.

"Yeah, talking and doing is something very different. That girl shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen. Her food could be used as a weapon. Ouch!" Loki smirked as Pepper smacked Tony in the back of the head.

"I have faith in Darcy, she is a very talented young woman."

* * *

Darcy bit her bottom lip as everyone filed into the kitchen. She had removed the pie just minutes before and she felt like crying. The whole thing looked black as coal.

Everyone smiled at her as she sat the pie plate filled with what looked more like tar in front of them. She cleared her throat and grabbed a plate and her knife. She sent a quick look at Loki before sticking the tip of the knife into the pie. She groaned as a white, greasy, gritty mixture puddled on top of the tar top. She cut a piece, plated it and handed it to Loki.

Loki swallowed as he looked down at the…thing…on his plate. When he looked up at Darcy he noticed a few tears at the edge of her eyes. He gave her a small smile and picked up the fork and cut a bite.

Oh, dear Odin, what had she done to the thing? He swallowed down the bite and gave a huge smile to the nervous girl standing before him. Darcy let out a breath and gave him the most brilliant smile. He took another bite and another until he finished it down. He was trying to keep his stomach from bringing it back up.

"Loki?" Tony gave him a strange look, kind of like he was waiting for him to burst into flames.

"You should have a piece, Stark. I told you that she would make a wonderful pie." Tony's eyes bugged out of his head, but he took the plate that Darcy handed him. Loki brought his hand down where no one would be able to see, and gave a wave towards Tony's plate as well as the rest of the pie.

Tony took a bite, looking like he was eating a forkful of maggots. The moment he closed his mouth around the bite and started to chew, his eyes went wide and he took another.

"Damn, it doesn't look like much, but this is better than scotch!" One by one everyone took a plate and ate down the pie. Darcy stood there beaming.

When the pie was gone, Pepper shooed Darcy out of the kitchen and told her to get cleaned up. Once everyone but Loki and Pepper where gone, Pepper turned to him with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her lips.

"I knew you weren't that evil." Loki lifted his brows and leaned back against the counter.

"I don't know what you're talking about woman." Pepper laughed and leaned up to give him a peck on the cheek.

"You're a good friend Loki, whether you realize it or not." He rolled his eyes.

"You mortals are foolish." He quirked a smirk of his own at her and waved his hands again, the whole kitchen spotless.

"Maybe not." Loki laughed as Stark started screaming from the other room.

"I doubt it. By the way, you might want to go check on your lover, I'm sure he's not happy that his new suit is covered in lard." Pepper shook her head, but took off to keep her boyfriend from trying to kill Loki.

* * *


	4. The Dance, Heimdall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Four:_
> 
> _Character: Heimdall_
> 
> _Song: Backwoods ~ Justin Moore_
> 
> _Genre: Humor/Romance_
> 
> _Spoiler Alert: Nope._
> 
> _Rating: M, just to be safe, and for suggestive content._
> 
> * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I'm not making any excuses and I'm not sorry! I really have no idea what I'm doing, I wasn't sure how I was going to do this character with this song and then this image popped into my head, and well….you get this little gem…..*hangs head in shame* I'm gonna go now.

* * *

The Dance

* * *

Darcy Lewis was crazy. This was accepted among her friends as being the absolute truth. So when Darcy announced that she was planning on throwing a barn dance and all of Thor's Asgardian friends were to come, everyone just shrugged their shoulders. It didn't matter that they had no barn, Darcy said they would just use the huge tent that her sister used for her wedding the year before. She would set it up out in the desert and place a few bales of hay out to make it look more "authentic."

Tony took a long pull from the bottle that he was drinking from, watching as Darcy directed Thor, Steve and Clint where to place everything for her "barn dance." The girl was sweet, with a rack that would make anyone overlook her crazy.

"Hey, Tin Can! You're suppose to be helping! Now, get those lights and get your ass in there and hang them!" She also had way more sass than she should. He was suppose to be the one with the snark. Tony set his bottle down and grabbed the lights. It was best that he just put them up, he really didn't need another "team player" lecture from Pepper.

Darcy smiled widely as she watched everything come together. Things sure got done fast when you had a team of superheroes as slaves…erm, helpers. She clapped her hands together, just a few more items and then all they had left was the guests. Thor had ensured her that not only was Sif and the Warriors Three coming, but so was the all seeing man himself. Apparently Odin didn't trust his son and his friends and was actually sending Heimdall as a sort of babysitter. She giggled. This was going to be so much fun!

* * *

Darcy Lewis was crazy, her friends knew this, so when she approached the stoic Heimdall in the middle of the party and dragged him out onto the dance floor, it shouldn't have surprised them. And yet it did. It did even more when Darcy turned away from the man and started wiggling her booty for all she was worth. For his part, Heimdall looked like he wasn't sure if he was suppose to scream or run away at the display. He just stood there in the gold armor he refused to change out of, with one Darcy Lewis rubbing her ass all over him.

Tony spit the drink of scotch he had just taken and nudged at Bruce beside him.

"Tony, I told you I'm not the…what is Darcy doing?" Bruce's eyes went wide as he watched Darcy turn back around and wrap one leg behind one of Heimdall's.

"I'm not sure, she is either completely drunk and thinks he is someone else, trying to seduce him, or she is having a seizure." Tony couldn't help laughing as the wild young woman started humping the tall man's leg. Heimdall's face was actually growing very dark, Tony was sure he was blushing.

* * *

Darcy wrapped one of her arms around Heimdall's neck the best she could and continued to thrust her hips. She knew she looked a sight, she knew everyone was staring, but she threw this party so everyone could relax, and Heimdall was ruining everyone's buzz. She was going to show him how to have fun even if it killed her.

"Come on Big Man, dance." Heimdall just looked down at her, a bead of sweat trickling down the side of his face.

"Everyone is watching." Darcy laughed, turned around and pressed herself tightly up against him. She flung one arm up around his neck and used her other hand to take his and place it on her exposed belly. She swore she felt Heimdall shiver at that.

"Well, now you know how it feels. Come on, loosen up." He sighed, but she felt the fingers on her belly make a couple of small circles.

"I'm not much of a public dancer." Darcy stopped moving for a moment, but quickly bumped her ass against him. Damn, she wished he wasn't wearing all that armor.

"Do much private dancing?" That time she knew he had shivered.

"Not as much as I would like." A wicked smile spread across Darcy's face. At that moment everyone watching them actually feared that she had completely lost her mind and was about to kill everyone there.

"Really now, how about we quit this joint and go somewhere a little more private?"

* * *

Darcy Lewis was crazy, her friends knew and accepted that, but not one of them were sure what to make of what was going on at that very moment.

Tony poured himself a scotch and watched with wide eyes as Darcy stood in nothing but what he figured was Heimdall's tunic as she prepared two cups of coffee. She gave everyone a wide smile, her hair in a sex knot at the back of her head, her glasses crooked on her nose. There was no mistaking what she had been doing after she disappeared from her own party the night before.

"Good morning, guys!" With that she turned and went back to the small room she slept in.

"Well, she wasn't having a seizure."

* * *


	5. Wouldn't Change A Thing, Phil Coulson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Five:_
> 
> _Character: Agent Phil Coulson_
> 
> _Song: I'd Love You All Over Again ~ Alan Jackson_
> 
> _Genre: Romance/Drama_
> 
> _Spoiler Alert: Not unless you've been living under a rock….Coulson Lives! :D_
> 
> _Rating: M for Language and Suggestive content._
> 
> * * *

Wouldn't Change A Thing

* * *

Darcy smiled to herself as she looked into her vanity mirror. She brought her hand up to smooth away a few of the flyaway strands of hair. Tonight had to be perfect. She sighed and stood from her chair, slipping her feet into the pair of black heels she borrowed from Nat.

The lights in her house were off, everything was silent, except for the low hum of the radio Darcy had turned on low. She gave a nod of satisfaction to the many candles she had lit around the living room and the small table set directly in the middle.

She started to hum to the song on the radio as she opened the bottle of wine. A few tears formed in the corner of her eyes as she thought about the argument her and her husband had a week before. The poor man was under a lot of stress at work, and because she didn't have the clearance he couldn't talk to her about it. She was fine with that, she had known and accepted that from the moment she got involved with him. But it still caused some contention between them when he acted the way he had last week.

He had come home from one of his top secret hush-hush missions, a few scrapes on his nose and cheeks, but otherwise no worse for wear. That was Darcy's only problem with her husband's job, that one day he might just not come home.

She had been waiting for him as she normally did, curled up in their bed in his favorite silk nightgown and a glass of wine. He had come in the room, got undressed and slid into the bed without even acknowledging her. She knew something was wrong then, he was at least always up to a little touching after being gone for so long.

She had set the wine down on the nightstand and turned to curl her body around him, but he had just brushed her off. When she had asked him what the matter was, he had just mumbled something about being old and curled deeper into the blankets. She had grown angry then, he hadn't brought up their age difference since they had been dating. Not since she had practically tased him when he thought about breaking it off because a few of the young agents had been calling her some really nasty names because of it.

She had thrown the covers off of him and things just went down hill from there, with him yelling at her that he was too old for her and then storming out of their house. Darcy had ended up sitting in their bed crying until she decided she was more pissed.

Tony had told her that Phil had been sleeping at his office, even though he had offered him a room at the tower. He said he figured he was trying to punish himself for something. Darcy had rolled her eyes at the dramatics her normally stoic husband was displaying.

Phil had called her just that morning, telling her that he thought they should talk. She had agreed, but told him that it would have to be their house, not the tower. She had a feeling that tonight would decide the fate of her marriage.

A key in the front door brought her back to the present. She stood up straight, wiping away any tears that had fallen. She smiled wide as Phil came into the living room, his face going from blank to surprised to sad all in eight seconds.

"Phil…" He held up and hand and came to sit on the couch, his hands hanging between his spread knees.

"I'm sorry, I should have handled everything better." Darcy sighed, she had a feeling that whatever had been bothering him still was. She sat down beside him, reaching out and taking one of his hands in hers. She smiled sadly when he didn't pull away.

"Handle what? Phil, as far as I'm concerned there was nothing to handle. I mean, I hadn't done anything, had I?" Phil looked up at her then, his face expressing so much pain.

"No, you haven't done anything. You have been perfect Darce. It is just….I'm really too old for you, this marriage was a bad idea." Angry, Darcy let go of his hand and smacked the back of his head. Phil looked at her with wide eyes. Surely after two years of being married to her he should have expected that.

"Fuck it, Phil! You know I don't give a flying rat's ass how old you are, fuck! You could be an old, graying, wrinkly old man and I would still love you, still want to be married to you. So don't you hand me that fuckery, alright? Unless of course you have a problem being with me?" Phil's mouth worked, but no sound would come out.

"Well, do you? Do you actually have a problem with being married to a young, energetic, hot damn sexy woman with no gag reflex? Well?" Phil blinked a couple of times before laughing.

"No gag reflex? Are you really trying to persuade me with sex?" Darcy shrugged her shoulders, not in the least sorry.

"Well, let's face it, men are ruled by their cocks. It is how we got together in the first place." Phil rolled his eyes, starting to finally relax.

"Actually we got together because you wouldn't take no for an answer and broke into my office so I would find you naked on top of my desk. I'm still not sure how you did that thing with my paperweight." Phil leaned back into the couch, Darcy following him down and curling into his side. She gave a silent thanks when he wrapped an arm around her.

"As I said, we got together because men are ruled by their cocks. And if you still have that paperweight I could show you." She closed her eyes when he sighed, fearing that he was about to push her off of him again.

"Look, Darcy, none of that matters what matters is…"

"What matters is that I love you and I know for fucks sake that you love me, so don't you fucking start with me again. I mean, fuck Phil, look at Jane and Thor, you want an age difference." Phil chuckled a bit and leaned down to press a kiss on top of her head.

"Darcy, what happens when I die and you are left behind?" She sat up then, looking down at him with a puzzled look.

"Is that what all this shit has been about? Fuck it, Phil, in your line of work it wouldn't matter if you were fifty or twenty, you could still die. Age has nothing to do with it. I accepted all that when I decided that I wanted you. What would happen if I died and left you alone?" Phil suddenly pulled her in close to him, holding her tightly.

"You won't, you are probably one of the most protected people on the planet." Darcy had no doubt about that. She was married to an agent of SHIELD, friends with Iron Man, Thor and the rest of the Avengers, and she sort of was friends with Fury….ok, she actually annoyed the hell out of him, but he would one day admit that he liked her even if she had to tickle it out of him.

"There is still a chance, there are things that the Avengers would not be able to protect me from. Like cancer." Phil pushed her back a bit and looked into her face worried.

"You're alright, you're not…" Darcy smiled and reached out to cup his cheek.

"No, I'm fine, healthy as a horse. But what I mean is, life is uncertain and either of us could die at any moment. I'm not about to spend my life miserable and away from you because of that." She pressed the hand on his cheek a little harder, making sure he was looking her right in the face.

"Even if you died tomorrow I wouldn't go back and change a damn thing. I would still break into your office, still say yes to that coffee date, still scream at the top of my lungs when you asked me to be your wife. I would have still said 'I Do.'" She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. He didn't hesitate to kiss her back. It was an almost bruising kiss, desperate. When they pulled apart a couple of tears were shining in the corner of Phil's eyes.

"I wouldn't change anything either."

* * *


	6. Fragment, Frigga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Six:_
> 
> _Character: Frigga_
> 
> _Song: Plastic Man ~ Seether_
> 
> _Genre: Drama_
> 
> _Spoiler Alert: Um, not really, pretty much AU from end of Avengers_
> 
> _Rating: T_
> 
> * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Ok first off, Listen to Plastic Man and tell me that Loki doesn't pop right up in your head as you listen!
> 
> Next, I just want to say that the places that Darcy goes in this are actual places. I did fudge a bit on things, like the fact that the café she goes to is actually pretty new and she would not have gone to it back when she had been going to school.
> 
> * * *

Fragment

* * *

Darcy wrapped a scarf around her neck, picking up her keys as she left her apartment. It was weird being back home, Des Moines was a very different place to the desert.

She smiled as she passed Alex the doorman, giving him a wave as she walked out onto the sidewalk. She ignored most of the people as they walked past, some of them she had known all her life, and others faces that she had seen only in passing.

The day was dreary, overcast with a cold drizzle that slowly soaked the wool cap on her head. It was a typical late fall day in Iowa. She looked up at the dark gray skies, it wouldn't be long before the snows started. She smiled at that. The first couple of snows were always her favorite, they painted the city landscape white. She always imagined it to be natures way of wiping the slate clean, at least for awhile.

Darcy wiped the rain from her glasses as she entered her favorite café. The place was so far from what one found in places like the New Mexican desert. It was actually different from what one would normally find in Iowa. It belonged more in New York or out in California, someplace where being open and free was not looked on as being a godless freak.

She smiled and gave a small wave to the woman behind the counter, nodding when she made a gesture to the menu board. Darcy had been coming there since the place first opened.

She pulled the scarf from her neck and balled it up in her coat pocket. She took in the café, at the many different types of people that were there, at the images on the walls. Poets, political leaders, activists. The place was an ever changing melting pot of young culture.

Darcy gave a pat on the back of Joe, an old friend from high school that was sitting at the table closest to the counter. He patted her hand and gave her a smile, there was no need to talk. They had both known each other long enough that a simple hand gesture was enough of a hello.

She pulled out her credit card, paying before taking her chai and walking over to where a couch and chairs had been set up. She settled down in a chair, turning so she could look outside. She watched as people walked past, heads buried in scarves and coat collars. Students, teachers, workers. Eventually her gaze moved past the sidewalk and to the green across the street.

Pieces of local art dotted the green. Some elegant, invoking thoughts of falling satin and airy music. Others abstract, all curves, angles and dips. There were pieces that made you think, about yourself, about society. And then there was the surreal, creatures and images straight out of nightmares. Dark shadows that lurked about in your mind, coming out only in the darkest hours of night.

All those images were enough to turn one's head, but it was the lone figure walking about them that caught Darcy's eye. From where she sat she could tell it was a woman, but not much else from her appearance. There was just something so sad about the way she walked from piece to piece.

Darcy drank down the rest of her chai, placed her glass in the dirty dish tub, and after bidding everyone a goodbye, she left. She pulled out her scarf and wrapped it around herself as she skipped across the street. For some reason Darcy felt as though she needed to see the woman before she left. It was a strange feeling, but Darcy wasn't one for ignoring her instincts. It had been her instincts that made her sign up for the internship with Jane, and through that she got the once in a life time chance to meet a Norse God.

She moved her way towards the figure, her eyes focused on the woman. As she got closer she could make out the long golden hair that toppled down her back. The fine gold tapestry coat that she had wrapped around her, all trimmed in tan fur.

Darcy stepped up beside the woman as she looked up at the piece in front of them.

"It's kind of sad isn't it?" Darcy looked up at the great white words that curved and shaped a fragment of a person.

"I guess, I'm not very good at interpreting art. I majored in Political Science." The woman nodded her head before looking down at Darcy.

"I'm in politics as well, but it is always nice to take some time and contemplate the works of our artists. They reflect what the people think and want, and they hold a mirror up to our faces forcing us to see what we are." Darcy looked back at the piece, trying to see what the woman did.

"I guess more politicians should have majored in art." The woman chuckled, her hand going up to adjust the collar of her coat.

"Oh dear me, no. I fear to imagine it." Darcy laughed along with her, comfortable with the woman for some reason.

"Why do you think this is so sad?" Darcy felt a sickening pain in her stomach at the look on her face. It was beyond sad. Like all the horrors of the world had befell that one woman, and yet she forced herself to hold her shoulders straight and her head up.

"It reminds me of my son. He…some very bad things happened, he found out some information that devastated him. This piece, it is like my son, a fragment of a person, of a soul." Darcy felt a tear slip down her cheek, and she wiped it away hoping that the woman hadn't seen.

"He lost himself, lost his place in our world. It pains him so very much, all he ever wanted was to make us proud. To be seen as an equal to his brother. I fear the damage that has been done, I'm not sure it can be undone." The woman then looked down at Darcy, her face almost pleading.

"Do you think a man can be pieced back together when half his soul has been shattered?" Darcy let another tear slip down her cheek. She didn't know what to say, what to do. The woman looked broken herself, a mother who only wanted to fix her son. She wasn't cut out for giving out that kind of advice. Ask her where to go for the best damn hummus and pita in town, where to find the best alternative shops, but don't ask her family advice. She still couldn't fix her own.

"I don't know. I'm sorry, I really don't know." The woman gave her a watery smile and nodded her head.

"It's alright, I'm not sure anyone knows." Darcy wiped away the tears on her cheeks, suddenly wishing she knew the woman enough that it wouldn't be weird if she just reached out and hugged her. The woman really needed a hug.

Darcy jumped a bit as the woman set a hand on her shoulder and the other on her cheek.

"You are a good woman, Darcy Lewis. My son was right about you." With that she removed her hands and walked away. Darcy just stood there watching until she couldn't see the strange woman anymore. She had a feeling that what just happened wasn't over, or that she hadn't seen the last of that woman.

* * *


	7. The Interview, Agent Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Seven:_
> 
> _Character: Maria Hill_
> 
> _Song: What Makes You Think You're The One?~Fleetwood Mac_
> 
> _Genre: Humor_
> 
> _Spoiler Alert: Coulson Lives….that's really about it._
> 
> _Rating: T_
> 
> * * *

The Interview

* * *

Agent Maria Hill sat back in her chair, watching closely as the woman in front of her sat down. She had heard things about the woman from Coulson. Though their encounter had been brief, it appeared the young woman had made a huge impression on the man. And if there was one thing that Maria knew, it was that it was pretty hard to impress Coulson. The guy had high standards, very high.

"So, Miss Lewis…." Maria clasped her hands under her chin and waited for the young woman to squirm. They all did, each and every one of the hopeful recruits that made it as far as being interviewed by her. She made sure of it, the recruiters always told horror stories of Agent Hill. It worked every time, well almost every time it seemed.

Miss Darcy Lewis should have been shifting in her seat, eyes moving around the room. A room that Maria had staged for one purpose only, to intimidate. From the shadow boxes displaying various guns through the years to the stiletto on her desk that she used as a letter opener. Only Miss Lewis wasn't quaking in her boots, no she was lounging back in her chair and looking at her with a bored expression on her face.

"So, Agent Hill…." Maria grimaced internally, Coulson had said the girl was an unusual case.

"Was that cheek Miss Lewis?" The woman across from her grinned slowly, one of her legs crossing over the other.

"No, but I can provide serious cheek if need be. Though, depends on which cheek you are referring to." Miss Lewis' grin turned smirk as she sat there, it was a smirk that Maria wanted to wipe off that damned face.

"You should know that we don't tolerate cheek here at S.H.I.E.L.D." Miss Lewis started laughing at that, and it took all of Maria's will power not to lean across her desk and punch the woman in her pert little nose. Teach her a thing or two.

"Right, and if Fury isn't the King of Cheek? You know you can stop all the intimidation tactics, they're not going to work. I'm friends with one Norse God and I was almost killed by another. After that everything else just sort of bores me." Miss Lewis shrugged her shoulders before placing her hands in her lap.

"I can assure you that I can do far worse than your Norse Gods." A laugh erupted from the woman across from her. A sort of sputtering, funny sound.

"And I can assure you that you can't. Seriously, Agent, you can just cut all the bull right now. I would be far more impressed if you just got on with whatever reason it is I'm here." Maria felt like pinching her nose. She didn't really know what to do besides actually causing physical harm to the woman. Not that she was against such a thing, but Fury didn't like it when she put the recruits in the hospital.

"Alright then, you already know the basics. Why you are here, with me, well it is for me to determine if you are agent material or not." Miss Lewis nodded her head and took a quick look around the office.

"Ah, got ya. So, am I?" Maria just stared at her for a second, was she actually serious? The interview hadn't even begun yet.

"I'm not sure yet. I have a few questions to ask you first." Miss Lewis nodded again and waved her hands about as though telling Maria to go on ahead.

"Well, Miss Lewis, what makes you think you are right for this job?" Miss Lewis laughed again, only this time she looked less bored. She sat up fully and leaned over her legs, looking Maria straight in the eyes.

"Nothing." Shocked, Maria sat there for a moment. That had not been the answer she had been expecting. Normally all the hopefuls said something about their career in the army, navy, and so on and so forth. She had heard stories about one man taking out fifty huge men with only his bare hands, and other ridiculous things.

"Nothing, Miss Lewis?" The woman shook her head, her eyes still trained on Maria's.

"Nope, I'm a Poli-Sci major who took an internship with an astrophysicist. The only weapon I know how to use is a taser, and ok I'm sure Jane would call my cooking a weapon, but that is neither here nor there. I know nothing about being an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. The only thing I know how to do is wrangle scientists, tase Norse Gods, and set up equipment." Maria blinked, Coulson had told her about the taser, but after seeing Thor she hadn't really believed it. She shook herself out of her stupor, she really had to get a hold of herself. She was the one suppose to unnerve Miss Lewis, not the other way around.

"Then why are you here?" The younger woman just shrugged again.

"Don't know, I got a call from Phil one day, said that he had recommended me for this job. I just thought, why not. I can't work for Jane forever. One day Thor is actually going to take her away for good, and where will that leave me. Really doubtful his daddy is going to allow me to tag along to Asgard." Was this girl serious?

"Coulson called you?" Coulson never called anyone himself….wait, did she call him Phil?

"Yeah, that's what I said. Anyway, he had been dropping hints for awhile, though I didn't actually think he would do it." Maria's mouth dropped open. W-what now?

"Hints?" Miss Lewis picked up a paperweight from her desk and leaned back once again in her chair.

"Yeah, when we would be out at lunch, he would drop these little hints. Stuff like there being an opening for a new agent. How he thought I would make a good one, how I was good at following orders. Asking me if I had ever thought about working for S.H.I.E.L.D.? That sort of thing. Though, as I said I never thought he would actually recommend me. Shocked the hell out of me." Seriously, what?

"You have lunch with Agent Coulson? You call him Phil?!" Miss Lewis looked at her as though she were the one that had said the most impossible thing. Coulson never went to lunch with any of the other agents, never befriended any of them. Until Steve Rogers came back Coulson had been called The Untouchable around the base.

"Obviously. Why, is that a problem? Me having any kind of relationship with another agent?" Maria started to scan the room, there had to be a camera somewhere, she just knew Stark had set this up. No way this was happening, The Untouchable had a friend, an actual friend.

"Um, nooooo, well romantic relationships are frowned upon, but it won't get you fired. They happen a lot actually, less secrets that way. But, a friendship, no…no problem at all." Maria plastered a fake smile on her lips. Why the hell was she babbling?

"Good, Phil's a pretty cool dude, ya know? So, is that it?" Maria nodded, not at all sure what to do. On one hand, Miss Lewis had no training, no reason to be even considered for the job. On the other, well, she had actually befriended Agent Phil "Untouchable" Coulson…and called him a cool dude!

"Cool beans, alright then, I guess I'll just go. Let me know if I get the job, yeah?" Maria just continued to nod as Miss Lewis walked out of her office. What had just happened?

* * *

Darcy flung herself down on the couch in Tony Stark's lounge. She took the drink the man himself had offered, and took a long pull off of it as Tony sat down across from her.

"So, do you think it worked?" The smirk on Tony's face was enough of an answer.

"Like a charm. Clint said he already heard rumors of a new agent by the end of the day. I'd say you'll be getting a call in a day or two." Darcy laughed, not really believing that they had gotten away with it. When Tony had brought up his plan to get Darcy a job, she had thought he was insane…ok, even more insane than he already was.

He had planned it out, detail by detail. Starting with inviting her over to the Tower for drinks when he knew Phil would be there, then inviting her along on the weekly lunches him and Pepper had with Phil. Slowly, over time Tony and Pepper worked it out so only Darcy and Phil would be meeting for lunch. Eventually it just became habit. It was funny too, watching Tony work to drop hints to Phil about hiring Darcy. She still couldn't believe that actually worked.

"Thank you Tony, seriously. I really do need this job, things with Jane and Thor are getting pretty serious and I'm not sure how long it will be before Thor takes her back home." Tony just shrugged it off.

"Eh, think nothing of it kid. If there is ever anything else I can do for you, just ask." Darcy looked down into her own glass, an evil little smirk spreading across her face.

"Well, there is one thing. If you could get Phil to actually ask me out on a real date, I would be very grateful. There is just something about an older man in a suit that gets me all hot and bothered." Darcy just laughed full bellied as Tony choked on the last sip of his drink. Hopefully Phil didn't react the same way.

* * *


	8. Red, Bruce Banner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Eight:_
> 
> _Character: Bruce Banner/Hulk_
> 
> _Song: Runaway ~ Linkin Park_
> 
> _Genre: Romance/Drama_
> 
> _Spoiler Alert: Nope_
> 
> _Rating: M, for the F word._
> 
> * * *
> 
> Red
> 
> * * *

_Red…..such a simple color, the color of passion, of love…of hate. Darcy thought to laugh at the thought, red the color of roses, so beautiful. Red, the color of her own blood as it slowly overtook her white dress. Instead she threw her head back and screamed, screamed as loud as she could._

_The sound was red….._

* * *

Darcy shot up out of bed, the scream from her dream still sounding from her throat. She clamped a hand to her mouth, trying to quash the sound before the others in the Tower heard her. Mostly before HE heard her.

She knew the moment he saw her he would know. He always did. She had told him that she no longer had the nightmares, but she had been lying. Even six months later she couldn't keep the images of that night away. The night everything changed between the two of them.

* * *

It had been six months before, Tony had decided on throwing a party for all the Avengers and their friends. It wasn't anything huge, not by Stark standards, but it was still something. Tony had spared no expense, having the best wine and beer, food flown in from the best restaurants in the world.

Darcy had been only too happy to have an excuse to get dressed up. She had gone out and found a new dress, something very girly for once. It was a simple sundress, white and trimmed in green. Green like Bruce's other half. She knew she was being silly, but she hoped he would get the hint.

She had been crushing over the man for sometime. She knew the first moment when she looked at Bruce Banner and saw him as something other than a mousy scientist. She had gone up to the lab to fetch something that Jane had forgotten and had stopped at the door when she noticed a shirtless Bruce. He had spilled his coffee all down himself.

She had just stood there for the longest time, wondering what it would feel like to run her hands along that skin. What he would taste like on her tongue, and would he moan if she raked her nails down his back harshly? It was him noticing her that finally brought her out of her reverie. She had laughed it off and told him what she was looking for. That one moment had changed the way she saw him, be went from being some guy she knew to being THE GUY.

Darcy had laughed to herself when she bought the dress. She was pathetic, if he hadn't seen her by then, then he didn't see her the same way. It was stupid of her to hope, but she just couldn't seem to help herself. She had taken extra care that night when getting ready. Her hair and makeup had to be just perfect.

All her effort had paid off the moment she walked into the room and was greeted by wolf whistles and the eyes of every man, even her beloved Dr. Banner. Throughout the night she had made sure that she was in his line of sight, but he never seemed to see her. She had finally given it up as a lost cause when Tony came up and placed a hand on the small of her back.

"Interesting….I would suggest before you go off in tears you watch our Green Giant a moment." Darcy started to turn her head, but Tony nudged her back.

"No, not like that. Not so he can see you. Across from us is a mirror, you can see him in it. Watch." Not really knowing what was going on, but believing Tony had some reason, she looked over at the mirror and sure enough she could see Bruce just off to her side. And he was watching her!

"See him? Good. Now, watch closely." She gasped a bit as Tony's hand on the small of her back started to make small circles. She didn't know what the hell he was playing at, but continued doing what he said. Small lines appeared around Bruce's mouth. He didn't look happy.

Tony then leaned down, his lips resting right again her ear, she shivered at the feel of his warm breath.

"You do realize that he has been watching you for months, right? His eyes follow you as you cross the room, he asks about you all the time. Every time you hug him or give him a kiss on the cheek he blushes and smiles so big I think his face will break." Darcy felt her heart skip a beat at Tony's words, though she didn't know if she should believe them or not. Still, what she saw in the mirror seemed to help confirm what he told her. Bruce was angry. His face was scrunched up, teeth gnashing, one of his hands clenched as the other was coming dangerously close to breaking his glass. Darcy knew things were getting pretty dangerous by that point.

"Alright, Tony, you've made your point. I think it's time to back off." Of course leave it to Tony to take that one step too far. He just laughed and raised his other hand up to cup her cheek and turn her face towards his, though Darcy kept her eyes on the mirror. What she saw made her internally scream.

"Oh, I don't think I have. I'm not doing this for you, he has been unbearable. He wants you, but won't do anything about it. I'm going to make him finally do something." And that something turned out to be the breaking point. Before Darcy could do anything Tony pressed his lips against her's.

Everything happened so quickly that no one knew exactly what had happened. Darcy had heard the sound of glass breaking as Bruce's other hand clenched. Someone had yelled his name, and Darcy knew at the sound of tearing why. She cursed Tony then, Bruce had been doing so well, he had come so close to having full control over the Hulk. Now it was all ruined because Tony didn't know when to quit.

No one had time to stop anything before the Hulk darted for Tony, and in trying to get his hands on him knocked Darcy clear across the room and into the mirror. From that point on all Darcy knew was pain. The mirror had shattered and rained down on her. It sliced her arms, her stomach and legs. She could feel the heat of her blood as it slowly ran down her face, pooling in her eyes and dripping down mixed with her tears.

She had screamed then as she tried to scramble away from the mess of glass, her hands tearing up, the blood making her slip. She could hear the Hulk as he yelled, hear as the others tried to stop him. She continued to scream, finally all sound stopped. Before she passed out she heard one last agonizing scream, Bruce, her Bruce screaming her name.

* * *

Tears leaked from her eyes as Darcy tried to calm herself. Things had changed between them that day. She knew he hated himself for what happened, he said that he had almost killed her. Just the week before she had been in her swimming suit, about to go and take a dip in the built-in, when he had turned the corner. She had never seen him look so sad.

He had fallen to the floor before her, his hands coming up to run along the scars on her legs and stomach. She had been speechless as he actually cried over them. That was the first and last time she had allowed him to see her scars, she couldn't take him crying again.

Her head whipped around as the door to her room opened. She expected Jane, she had been the one that normally came to her after a nightmare, but she was shocked to see Bruce standing there in nothing but a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt.

"I thought you said that you no longer had the nightmares." She sighed and looked away from him. Didn't he realize how much it hurt her to see him so upset?

"It is nothing." She heard his footsteps as he crossed the room, and was shocked when her bed dipped down as he sat next to her.

"It's not nothing, and you know it. Darcy….Darcy, I can't tell you how sorry I am, how much I regret….." Darcy's head turned back around at that. She was so tired of him saying that. Without thinking she raised a hand and whipped it around to smack him across the face. For a second she feared that she might have just triggered the Hulk, but Bruce just sat there with his mouth hanging open. Eventually he shut it and cleared his throat.

"I guess I deserved that." Darcy laughed, the idiot didn't even know why she hit him.

"Yes, you did. You shouldn't be apologizing all the damn time, fuck Bruce, it wasn't your fault!" Bruce's eyes got big and she couldn't help but laugh even harder.

"Y…yes it was, if I hadn't…if the other guy…" Darcy laid a hand on his mouth, effectively shutting him up.

"If Tony hadn't kissed me after I told him to stop it. I could tell you were getting close to your breaking point, but Tony wouldn't listen to me. Stop blaming yourself, cause I don't." Bruce blinked a few times, a strange look in his eyes.

"Why did Tony kiss you? I still don't understand it." Darcy felt herself grow warm at the feel of his lips moving against her fingers.

"Because he was trying to get you to do something about you liking me instead of just watching me all the time." His eyes went wide, his cheeks going pink as he blushed. It was really cute, she thought.

"Oh, um….well, uh I just never thought you would….I mean I'm much older than you, and you know…the other guy…" Darcy shook her head, her hand moving from his mouth to slide along his jaw. She leaned in a bit closer so her lips were only a breath away from his.

"I have actually. I do. I don't care about age or…The Other Guy, I want you. I've wanted you for a very long time. Even after everything, I still want you." She went to kiss him, but he pulled back a bit.

"Darcy, what happened, it could happen again. I could hurt you….I could kill you." Darcy felt like hitting him again, but quashed that urge. Instead she lifted up her other hand and curled it in his curls, tightly.

"Fuck that. I could care less, if I lived my life in fear of anything and everything that could hurt or kill me, I would be very bored. Now, if you don't shut up and fucking kiss me, I'm going to Hulk out on you. Got it Doctor?" He nodded his head and leaned in as she moved towards him.

"Perfectly."

* * *


	9. Nothing But A Dream, Thor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Nine:
> 
> Character: Thor
> 
> Song: Prince Waldecks Galliard ~ Blackmore's Night
> 
> Genre: Friendship with undertones of romance, and well, overtones as well.
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Just up until Avengers, this is not Thor 2 compliant as I have yet to see it.
> 
> Rating: M
> 
> * * *

Nothing But A Dream

* * *

Darcy Lewis was feeling sorry for herself. Not just a little sorry either, no it was a; 'I just missed my chance to become a princess' kind of sorry. It was also the kind of sorry that called for a gallon of ice cream, several bottles of vodka, and every soppy Disney Princess movie ever made.

She hated when she felt this way, mostly when it had to do with boys. Damn stupid, fucking boys and their damn stupid, fucking inability to keep it in their pants around girls that were not their girlfriends. Ok, so she should have listened to Jane when she told her that Rich was a jerk. Hell she should have listened when Tony 'fucking' Stark told her to stay clear. If Stark thought a guy was bad, he most likely was. But no, Rich was tall and muscular, and hot as sin and she wanted him the moment she saw him in that bar.

Now she was curled up in the common room at Avenger Tower, legs encased in old greying sweats with holes in the knee and her father's old university t-shirt. Her hair hadn't been washed in two days, and she was sure that she had a dry crusty smudge of ketchup along the right side of her jaw. Not that she cared; she was having the most epic pity party of all time. It was the pity party to end all pity parties.

Now, don't get her wrong. It wasn't that she found Rich in bed with that skank from the library, it wasn't because she promptly tazered his nude ass…well ok maybe it wasn't his ass. No, it was because this wasn't the first time this had happened to her. Darcy Lewis had a dirty little secret; she was horrid at choosing men.

It had all started when she had been in kindergarten. Danny had sat four seats down at her table, and he was everything she thought she wanted in a boy. He was cute, with his curly blonde hair and Power Ranger lunch box. She had allowed him to chase her around the playground. Everything was perfect until she had been sick with chicken pox and had missed school. When she had come back it was to find he had been chasing Pam Addams during recess.

From there it had only gone downhill. There had been John, James, Kenny, Brad, a couple of Kens, and now she could add Rich to the list. When would she ever learn not to fall for the pretty boys that were all talk?

All of that led her right where she was now, stuffing her face full of a chocolate ice cream vodka float and watching as Prince Charming kissed Snow White awake. She swallowed the rest of her float and tossed a handful of popcorn at the huge screen on the wall.

"No such thing as a fucking happily ever after. You lied to us Disney….fucking Disney!"

"I beg to differ, Lady Darcy."

Darcy yelped as the deep voice rumbled behind her, her popcorn flying everywhere as she clasped her hands over her chest.

"Don't do that!" Darcy spun around; her eyes landing on what she thought had to be the most perfect man in existence, Thor. Why couldn't she be like Jane and have some handsome fucking sex god fall out of the sky and fall for her?

"I am sorry, please forgive me." Thor bowed shallowly towards Darcy, his eyes taking in the mussed hair and dirty clothing. His Jane had told him about the infidelity of her lover, and how she had taken the blow. But he hadn't actually believed it. On Asgard most of the ladies would have sequestered themselves away for no more than a day before returning to court to either use their influence to shame the unfaithful lover, or find herself a champion to defend her honor. Thor had wanted to offer himself for the job, but Jane had informed him that no matter how much he wanted to pound Rich into the ground, such things as champions were no longer the norm on Midgard.

"Of course, Thor, can't really stay mad at you anyway. Hey, why don't'cha have a seat?" And she really couldn't. He had once broken a full bottle of her favorite rum, but when she started to yell at him the pitiful puppy dog eyes he gave her made the words die on her lips.

"What do you watch?" Thor sat back on the couch beside Darcy, ignoring the way the popcorn crunched under him as he moved. Tony had introduced him to Midgardian movies whenever he had been able to visit. Though what Darcy now watched seemed much tamer than anything his friend had forced him to watch. For one, the characters all were wearing clothing.

"Just finishing Snow White, thought I'd watch Sleeping Beauty next." Darcy grabbed the remote and after hitting a few buttons for the dvd changer, sat back before looking over at her great, hulking friend.

"Thor, what did you mean a minute ago, when you said you beg to differ?" The movie forgotten for a moment, Darcy turned just enough that she was fully facing Thor.

"About happily-ever-afters, they do exist. They may not be like what they talk about in stories, grand love affairs where there is nothing but perfect happiness from here on after. Those don't exist, but finding the one you are meant for and living a happy and fulfilling life, those do." Thor reached over, and careful not to hurt her, his used his thumb to wipe away the smudge of red on her jaw.

"Yeah, but the hard part is finding that one. I doubt I ever will, not with my luck." Darcy fought the momentary stuttering of her heart as Thor touched her face. Just this once she wished she could change places with Jane.

"Maybe you are just looking in the wrong places." Before completely removing his hand he tucked a stand of hair behind her ear, his finger tracing the delicately curving shell.

"Yeah…aheam, well maybe. Hey, let's just watch the show huh? We've got several more to go before we start on the live action ones." Darcy pulled herself away from Thor's gaze and turned back towards the screen. All she needed was to start crushing on her friend's guy.

* * *

After four more movies, Thor decided that something needed to be done about Darcy. He wasn't sure it was normal for a grown human woman to cry when a cartoon girl finds out the prince she loves is marrying another. He also wasn't sure it was normal for crabs and teapots to talk, but that was neither here nor there.

Thor looked over at the young woman beside him and mentally shook his head. Human men were all fools if they couldn't see how wonderful she was. No, she wasn't as tall or fair as those on Asgard. But he knew many Asgardian men would be clambering for her hand. She was beautiful, she was smart, and she was strong where it counted, she was fiercely loyal and funny as well.

"When I was a little girl I used to believe in stuff like this. I used to wish for my fairy godmother to come and whisk me away to some kingdom where my prince was waiting for me. It's funny how silly children are.

"You know, for just one night I would like to be that. A princess I mean; to dance in the arms of my very own Prince Charming. To forget about all those guys before and just be happy, truly happy. For just one night, that is all. One night where magic is real." Darcy gave a hollow laugh, and snorted at what she had just said. Thor must think her an idiot. Not wanting to see his reaction, she stood and brushed the popcorn off her lap.

"Sorry for dumping all that on you. Goodnight."

Thor watched as Darcy slunk off to her room, her shoulders turned inward and head down. Now more than ever he wanted to challenge Rich and kill the man for what he had done to his friend.

His eyes landing back on the screen he decided that something would definitely have to be done. He turned off the movie and went in search of Tony. He was going to need some help.

* * *

A week later Darcy was finally recovered from her pity party, and had vowed never again to make vodka floats. The hangover was like the fucking chest buster scene from Aliens, not to mention now that she was fully sober she wondered what the hell she had been thinking. Mostly after she thought back to her conversation with Thor, what fucking possessed her to tell him all of that?!

She had avoided him for a couple of days after that night, not that he was actually there to avoid. No one really knew for sure where he had gotten off to, Tony would only say he had some business to take care of and left it at that.

"Hey Darc, why don't you just call it a night?" Jane studied her friend and assistant as she sat across from her. She looked better than she had a week ago, she had showered and was back to wearing her normal clothing, something that everyone in Avengers Tower was grateful for. Still there was something off about the young woman.

"Huh? What did you say?" Darcy shook herself out of her thoughts to find Jane watching her with a strange expression on her face. It was like half concern and half amusement.

"I said why don't you just call it a night? You have been spacing out off and on all day. Anyway, all I'm really going to be doing for the rest of the evening is some reading." Not that Jane couldn't use Darcy's help, she really needed someone with her organizing skills, but with the way the girl had been all day she would be no use anyway.

"Oh, I'm sorry Jane. I'll try to focus." Darcy fixed her glasses a little higher on her nose, but stopped as Jane got up from her chair and walked around to pull her from her own.

"No need to be sorry. Now you just go get some rest and we can continue this in the morning." Jane pushed Darcy out the door, ignoring her as she tried to protest, she even locked the clear glass doors the moment Darcy was on the other side and just waved the girl on.

Darcy huffed, but turned and headed for her rooms all the same. She was about halfway down the hall to her room when she was stopped by JARVIS.

"Miss Lewis I have been instructed to inform you that once you reach your quarters you are to follow the instructions you find there. Failure to do so will result in Mr. Stark revoking all your tower privileges, including the pool and hot tub."

Darcy stood there wide eyed as she registered what the AI had said.

"JARVIS….."

"Mr. Stark has informed me that if you do not comply I am ordered to lock you out of all computer and media and that your passcode to the garage will be revoked."

"Not the corvette! He promised me that I could drive her!" To say that she was angry was an understatement. Tony had promised her that she would be able to drive that sweet car whenever she was in New York after she helped him choose the perfect birthday gift for Pepper, a gift that now sealed the deal and would result in a wedding in about six-month's time.

Darcy floundered for a moment, her lips moving but nothing coming out as she tried to keep her anger in check. She knew yelling at the AI would get her nowhere, so in the end she just gave a loud huff and stomped off to her room.

She stopped when she came to her door, her temper vanishing as soon as she noticed the paper tacked to her door. It wasn't normal lined paper; it wasn't even the expensive stationery that Tony ordered. This was far more delicate and expensive, and had Darcy not seen it before on Jane's desk she still would have known where it came from by the very familiar handwriting on the front.

She plucked the note down and looked at it, written in elegantly scrolling letters was her name. She took a moment to wonder why in the world he had left her the note before carefully opening it, her brows furrowing as she read.

_My Lady Darcy,_

_On Asgard we have a tradition; a scorned Lady may obtain a Champion in order to challenge those that have wronged her. I have been reliably informed that such a tradition no longer exists on Midgard. Because of this I ask that you allow me to take up the position as your Champion another way than by destroying the man that broke your heart._

_So I ask that you ask no questions and follow the instructions that have been left for you in your chambers. Do not worry; you will not have long before all is revealed._

_Your Faithful Servant,_

_Thor_

Darcy blushed after she finished, she couldn't help but feel flattered at Thor wanting to be her Champion. She also couldn't help that large part of her that was sad such a thing wasn't done on Earth. She would give anything to see Rich's face as Thor advanced on him, all bulging muscles and bared teeth as he held Mjolnir above his head. She was sure that Rich would mess himself.

She shook her head and opened her door only to stop in her tracks. Nat sat at the edge of her bed, legs crossed with one arm resting on her knees and the other holding a can of beer.

"Um…" Ok, so while Darcy wasn't afraid of the Avengers, seeing as she had most of them wrapped around her finger, she was actually terrified of Nat. The woman sweated danger, she just had this aura of 'don't fucking shit with me' around her. So finding the spy sitting on her bed was enough to almost send Darcy running.

"Here, this is for you." Nat lifted the hand from her leg and held out a previously unseen note at Darcy. The young woman took a couple of slow steps before the glare from Nat made her rush over and take the note from her fingers.

_My Dear Lady,_

_Lady Widow has promised to act as your Lady-in-waiting this evening. Please do not fear, she will know what to do to help you and what must come next. I await your presence._

_Your Prince,_

_Thor_

Darcy looked up from the note towards Nat, she had finished her beer and was now standing and holding what looked like a bath puff.

"Alright, now strip."

* * *

Nothing could have prepared her for what happened after Nat had told her to undress. She had been frightened stiff until the spy made to come near her, and then Darcy was quickly stripping herself bare, too afraid that Nat would do it for her if she didn't obey.

After that were several hours of being bathed, scrubbed, oiled and perfumed. Nat had brushed her hair until it gleamed and pinned it up in a complicated style before dressing her in the most exquisite gown she had ever seen.

It didn't look like anything that could ever be created on Earth, with its yards of silver and gold silk. It was something like a cross between a toga and the dresses from Lord of the Rings. Knot work in what she was beginning to believe was real gold threading, traced along every seam, curling down her neckline until it blossomed out into a detailed image of a bird taking flight along her breasts.

She had just slipped into a pair of matching slippers when Nat opened the door to her room and motioned her out.

"Go one floor up."

"Um, alright." She really wasn't sure what was going on, but seeing as how she had gone this far she wasn't going to back out now. She gave a slight smile to Nat, and headed for the lifts.

She didn't know where to go after she got off, so she just wondered around hoping she would figure it out. It didn't take her long, it was rather obvious actually. Bruce was standing in the middle of the hallway with an intricate gold necklace in his hands.

She walked shyly over to him and allowed him to place the necklace on her. Just like Nat he told her to go up one flight.

With each flight she met one of the Avengers, and each of them had another piece of jewelry; earrings, a bracelet, and a ring. When she had finally run out of Avengers, all except one, she had been bid to go to the roof.

She hadn't known what to expect, but Thor in full Asgardian formal regalia was not it. Nor had she expected to find the entire roof decorated with lights and flowers. She smiled as Thor held out his hand to her and waited silently for her to either run away or go to him.

There really had never been a choice; Darcy had quickly walked over, placing her hand in his. Before she could say a word he had dropped a kiss on her hand and turned to grab something off the edge of the roof. Her eyes went wide as she saw the elegantly made crown. It was all gold with hundreds of golden leaves woven over the entire thing. She could see small vines, and berries that she suspected were actually rubies.

She held her breath as he carefully placed the crown on her head and stepped back. He looked at her with a soft smile and reached out to stroke her face.

"Thor, what is going on?" She was stunned, and seriously beginning to think she had fallen asleep on the job again and was actually drooling all over Jane's desk.

"I can't give you a happily-ever-after, that is not for me to do, but I can give you this night. For just this one night you are not Darcy Lewis of Midgard, you are Princess Darcy of Asgard, and as your Prince I would be honored if you would spend this night with me." Thor removed the hand from her face and held out his hand to her again. He hadn't been sure what Darcy would do when she realized his plan, but he hoped she would allow him this one thing, to be her Champion for just one night.

Trying to contain the school girl like giggles that wanted to erupt, Darcy placed her hand in his and allowed him to pull her to him. The moment their bodies were touching music started playing all around them. Not the corny love ballads one would hear at school dances and weddings, no this was all soulful guitar and harp. The pieces reminded her of the music she had heard once at a medieval faire she had gone to as a child, but she was sure that it most likely was Asgardian music.

For the longest time Thor twirled her around in what should have been complicated steps, but somehow she was able to follow. She wasn't sure if Thor was just that good at leading, or if there was actual magic involved. Not that it mattered to her, she was having the time of her life and she feared the coming morning.

She twirled around in a circle, stopping as she once again faced Thor, one arm lifted up half way as she gave a half turn one way and then repeated it with the other arm. One more turn before Thor grabbed her waist and lifted her high up in the air as he made a full turn and set her back down. This continued for a few more cycles before the song ended and Darcy was left laughing merrily against Thor's chest.

When she finally caught her breath and calmed down she lifted her head and looked up at the man that had thought her special enough to bring her dreams to life. She stilled when she saw the look on his face. It was intense and made it hard for her to breathe.

Thor had told himself that for that one night nothing outside of the two of them existed, there were no Avengers, no Loki, no Rich, and no Jane. It wasn't that he didn't love his Jane, he did, with everything he had, but he wanted Darcy to have one night when she was the most important woman in the universe.

He wished they could have been on Asgard; he would have taken her out to his mother's gardens, danced with her among the fountains and beneath the stars. He would have lain her down on golden silk that night in one of the grand chambers; lulled her to sleep with tales of his home and all the wonders she would be able to see.

Looking down into the eyes below him he knew that had he never met Jane, he could have happily fallen in love with Darcy. He gave her a sad little smile, and reached up to cup her face.

"If only you had been born on Asgard, you would have been treasured there. The men of this world are blind if they do not see what a precious jewel you are. You should be shown the world and given the universe." Not taking the time to think about what he was doing, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

He hadn't meant to kiss her, and then when he did he had planned on a simple peck, but the moment he pressed his lips to her full ones he forgot everything and allowed his body to take over. He speared her hair with his thick fingers, his mouth moving passionately with hers, teeth clashing, tongues dancing. He gathered her tightly against his body, reveling in the feel of her curves. He only pulled back when he began to taste the salty brine of tears.

Darcy was completely overcome, and had no idea what was going on. She felt as though she were adrift at sea with nothing to guide her and no way to know where she was or where she was headed. She felt herself start to cry and tried to will it away, but knew she had failed when Thor pulled back, his hand slipping from her hair to wipe away the moisture.

"Have I done wrong? I am sorry if I overstepped myself, I only…" Thor quieted as Darcy reached up to place her hand on his lips.

"You have done nothing wrong, I am just overwhelmed, that is all." Darcy tried to smile, but she wasn't sure she had succeeded.

"I shouldn't have kissed you, I am sorry." Thor hung his head and stepped back, he shouldn't have done that to Darcy or Jane.

"Don't apologize, please. I am not angry, and I…I really enjoyed that kiss and it would hurt if you took it back." She lifted her hand to her lips and traced them slowly.

"But it was wrong of me to do that, to lead you on while I am courting Jane." He ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't sure what came over him, only that he wanted to taste her once, for one moment he knew he would forever regret it if he never got to kiss her.

"But there is no one but us tonight, remember? We are not on Earth, and if you must blame something, blame the magic, Jane can't get mad if you were under a spell, but please don't apologize for it. Let me just have this one night, and tomorrow it will be nothing more than a dream." She was afraid that he would refuse and leave her there on the roof, but within a second he had her back in his arms and was kissing her.

* * *

The next morning Darcy woke to find herself back in her room in her old, faded pjs. She would have truly thought the night before a dream if it wasn't for the golden crown on her bed table and the beautiful dress tossed across her chair.

She took her time that morning, hanging the dress up in her closet, putting away the jewelry, and making herself presentable. She looked at herself in the mirror once she had finished dressing, gone was the Asgardian princess of the night before, and in her place was the plain old Darcy Lewis. She gave herself a bit of smile and went to join everyone for breakfast.

She stopped just inside the door to the kitchen, her eyes traveling over everyone. Nat and the others looked as though they hadn't a clue as to what they helped her prepare for the night before, and she found she was grateful for that. She didn't want questions or interrogations, last night was her night and she didn't want to share it with anyone else.

Her gaze stopped on Thor who had Jane wrapped tightly in his arms as he stood behind her. He looked up once he heard her come in and held her gaze. She had worried the night before she would be hurt and jealous once she saw Jane and him together. But it turned out she had been wrong, she was just happy that her friend had someone as wonderful as Thor in her life. She knew he would make her very happy.

She gave him a bright smile as she walked into the room and stole Tony's bagel. Thor just gave her one of his wide smiles and went back to whispering in Jane's ear.

She was happy, no she didn't get the man in the end, but that didn't really matter. He wasn't for her anyway, but he had given her something that she would treasure until the day she died. For one night magic was real, for one night she had her prince and her happily-ever-after, even if it all was just a dream.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I'm putting this here because some readers have taken to thinking that I condone what Thor and Darcy did in this OS. So here is my answer to anyone that thinks that:
> 
> There really isn’t a moral to this story, I’ve never said that what Thor and Darcy had done was right. They were both wrong for what they had done to Jane, and should I ever continue the story things would not end happy. Yes, both of them feel guilty for the cheating, and had I written further one would have seen that.
> 
> The story was not about it being alright to cheat just because the guy treats you like a princess, it was about two people that took things too far and tried to justify it, as Darcy did when she told Thor that in the morning it would all be a dream.
> 
> At first Thor just wanted to do something nice for Darcy, he never planned to cross that line, but things like that do happen and he allowed himself to be weak in that moment, a moment he would later regret. For Darcy, she was envious of Jane, though she never planned on ever acting out her attraction to Thor. Just like Thor she allowed herself to be weak, she was desperate for the kind of attention her friend was getting from Thor, and she was selfish in taking advantage of the moment. They were both horribly wrong for what they did, I never said different, I never said that their cheating was morally right, because no it is not.


	10. Classified Missions, Clint Barton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Ten:
> 
> Character: Clint Barton/Hawkeye
> 
> Song: Mysterious Days ~ Sarah Brightman/w/Ofra Haza
> 
> Genre: Friendship/Romance
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is Avengers AU and not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad.
> 
> Rating: M, because it is Darcy and Clint after all and they both have such potty mouths.

* * *

Classified Missions

* * *

When Darcy had gotten the offer to train as a SHIELD agent she had been ecstatic, she had seen Nat and Clint around Avengers Tower since she had moved there with Jane and she had to admit, they were pretty fucking cool.

Ok, so she knew it wasn't going to be all shiny guns, cat suits, and ear pieces, but that was kind of why she accepted. For once in her life she wanted danger and intrigue, and she wanted to be right in the middle of it instead of being shoved off to the side.

Training had been intense; Nat had beaten her ass into the ground more times than she wanted to count. She had even spent a few weeks in medical because of broken bones and concussions, something that the others in the Tower hadn't been too happy about.

She had gone on a few missions after she had been cleared for field work, but they had all been simple clean ups, and Darcy had started to get rather tired of it. She was good, she knew she was. Alright so she couldn't drop a man with a look like Nat could, or shoot a man in the heart in the dark like Clint, but she had her talents, and she felt they were being wasted. Something that she was feeling even more acutely at the moment.

"You can _not_ be fucking serious, _THIS_ is the mission?!" Darcy growled before flinging herself back down on the lounger and shoving her sunglasses harshly over her nose.

"We told you it wasn't going to be all glory and guts all the time." Clint laughed with a shake of his head. He knew that Darcy would end up griping once she found out just what their 'classified mission' was. Even so he had requested her as his partner; giving the excuse that she still needed experience on 'safe' missions. He knew that Fury had caught onto the lie, but Clint couldn't help it, Nat was a pain on missions like this, and he would rather look at the young Agent Lewis in a bikini than some stuffy suit in a speedo.

"Yeah, I get that, but this isn't a mission, this is a vacation! What the hell are we accomplishing by sitting on a beach drinking pina coladas?" Not that it wasn't a refreshing break from the New York skyline, but she didn't understand what they were doing. She hadn't even been debriefed, Nat had just barged into her room, thrown the tiny black bikini at her and told her to pack tanning oil and be ready to leave in two hours.

"We are undercover." Clint threw Darcy a cocky smile and tipped back his drink. He was enjoying aggravating her, he always had actually.

"Alright, as what and what for may I ask, or am I too low a level to know that information?" So she might have sounded a little resentful, but she was so fucking tired of being told that she was too damn low on the pole. Many of the clean ups she worked on she didn't even know what the fuck she was cleaning up.

"We are a young, hot rich American couple out spending all of our family's money on random crap. And as for what we are doing, this is a surveillance mission. We are here to watch and that is all." Of course he had his bow and several guns just in case, but Fury had been very adamant, if shit hit the fan they were to get out.

"Great, surveillance. This is just going to be like all my other missions isn't it? How am I supposed to watch if I don't even know what to look for?" Darcy kicked at the sand beside her chair. She knew she was acting childish, but how long was it going to take before they started treating her as a grown woman? She knew what everyone called her, Baby Agent Lewis. She was also pretty sure that Clint had been the one to start it.

"Look, when we told you it wasn't all glory, we weren't kidding. Yeah, there are plenty of missions where there is active spying, gun and fist fights, and daring escapes. But most of the time this is it, sitting around and watching some bastard pick his fucking nose.

"It isn't glorious, it isn't exciting, but it is necessary. This is how we gather the Intel that leads to those exciting missions. You have to learn to deal, plus when you are fully cleared for the dangerous missions you will soon come to cherish the boring ones, being shot at gets old real fast." Clint reached beside him and grabbed the young Agent's foot, effectively ending the shower of sand on his legs. He pulled at her leg until Darcy was sitting sideways on her chair and he could place both of her feet in his lap.

"I get it, but I don't even know what Intel I'm looking for, I wasn't debriefed." Darcy wiggled her toes as Clint ran his fingers along the arch of one foot. This wasn't the first time Clint had played with her feet; he had a weird fascination with them. She once accused him of having a fetish, but he just retorted back that it was no secret around SHIELD that he liked cute toes. She hadn't been sure if he had just been putting her on, but with the way he was gently pulling her toes she was beginning to believe he was telling the truth.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I was afraid that you would refuse the mission if you knew what it was." Absentmindedly he began to add a bit of pressure as he ran his hands along her feet, watching as Darcy relaxed into her chair more. He used to do this for Nat, back when they had still had a thing going. Of course now if Clint even looked at her feet he would find himself with a black eye.

"The thing is, SHIELD has been watching this group for a while now, they call themselves the Third Star. At first they seemed harmless, just a bunch of angsty kids with a grudge against the government. They would spray paint hate messages on buildings, write angry blogs online. No one really paid too much attention to them, until about a year ago when their signature was found carved into the chest of a very prominent government official.

"For a long time we had no idea who was behind the organization. About a week ago we received Intel from one of our agents that had been able to infiltrate the outer ring. From what they gathered the leader of the Third Star is a man by the name of Sheldon Lambert. He is supposed to have a bungalow here which he frequents every fourth weekend of the month." Removing his hands from her feet long enough to grab his phone from the bag between them, he pulled up a picture and threw it in the younger agent's lap.

Darcy looked down at the image, her eyes quickly taking in every detail. The man was most likely in his early forties, with greying black hair and some pretty intense green eyes. She was sure he never lacked for female companionship; the guy was seriously a salt and pepper sex god.

"Oh please tell me he has a British accent, he looks like he should have one." Darcy yelped as Clint pinched the bottom of her foot, but when she tried to kick him he just held onto her ankle tighter.

"Sorry to disappoint, but he's from Topeka." Clint reached over and took the phone, deleting the photo before tossing the thing back in the bag. He really didn't like how Darcy had looked when she studied the picture. He knew she would never be stupid enough to get seriously involved with someone like Lambert, but he always got pissed when Darcy looked at other guys like she wanted to devour them.

"Well that's no fun. Fine then, so what do we do, just sit here hoping we see him?" Darcy's eyes went wide as Clint spread her legs apart and kneeled in front of her between them. His arms rested on either side of her hips as he leaned in, his face level with her chest, though he continued to look up into her eyes.

"Pretty much, but remember we are undercover, we must stay in character the entire weekend, and I do believe I said we were a hot rich couple. So how 'bout it Baby Agent Lewis, up for some fun?"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. Um yeah, so this seems to have turned out less of an OS and more of the beginning of a full length story. Which is why I left it where I did, 'cause I'm going to write this as a full length story. So just think of this more as a preview than anything.
> 
> ** Disclaimer: ** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	11. Waffles, Volstagg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Eleven:
> 
> Character: Volstagg
> 
> Song: My Kind of Woman ~ Justin Moore
> 
> Genre: Friendship
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is Avengers AU and not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad.
> 
> Rating: K

* * *

Waffles

* * *

If there was one thing that Volstagg could appreciate more than good food and an invigorating battle, it was a woman that enjoyed food as much as he did. Give him a woman that actually ate and he was set. Give him a woman that loved food and knew how to cook, and well he could die happy. So when Volstagg learned that a certain mortal woman could cook, let us just say he knew they would be burying him with a large smile on his face.

It had all started when he had visited Midgard along with Thor. His Prince's friend, Tony Stark, had invited them to stay in his tower while they were there, promising the best that Midgard had to offer. To say Volstagg had been impressed was an understatement; he had never tasted anything like what Stark had provided for them before. He had eaten to his heart's content, and then ate some more.

* * *

Volstagg groaned as his stomach growled and woke him up. He knew he should have brought a selection of food with him to bed, but Sif had chastised him about appropriate behavior. According to her it was bad manners to hoard food when being hosted by friends.

His stomach growled again and he was sure if he didn't eat something soon he would wake the entire tower with how hungry he was. Figuring no one was up, he got out of bed and trudged his way to the kitchen.

He had thought to raid the pantry, surely Stark had a vast variety of chesses and salted meats to satisfy his grumbling stomach, and some ale wouldn't be remiss either. What he hadn't counted on was the kitchen to be occupied.

He stopped in the doorway taking in the sight of the young mortal Darcy. She stood at one of the tables in nothing but a pair of loose pants and a strange undershirt that was small enough to be a bit too revealing. But it was not her shapely legs or pinched in waist that caught his attention. It wasn't even her ample breasts and succulent lips; it was her small hands as they moved with great dexterity as she cooked.

He watched as she whipped at the yellowish batter in the bowl, her wrist moving quickly and smoothly. He wasn't sure if she knew he was there or not, but he kept silent and just watched as she spooned the batter onto a steaming grill and set an equally steaming lid down on top of it.

"You might as well sit down; this one will be ready in only a few minutes." Darcy laughed as Volstagg jolted as she spoke. She had known he was there, hell she had heard him coming from down the hall. He wasn't the quietest of the warriors.

"I am sorry; I had no intention of spying on you." Volstagg was sure that Sif would have his beard once she heard about this, but he had trouble really caring as the scent from the hot grill caught his nose. He did as Darcy had instructed and sat himself down at the counter.

"No harm done, plus anyway these taste much better when you have someone to share them with." That was always what her grandmother had told her. Cooking was fun, and you could make some of the best tasting treats on the planet, but they would always taste the best when shared.

"What are you preparing? It smells divine." And it did, the scent of something sweet and creamy was still wafting past his nose and it caused his stomach to once again growl. A sound that made Darcy giggle.

"Waffles. I couldn't sleep, and well, when I can't sleep I cook. Plus just between you and me, as much as all that takeout stuff Tony bought is good, nothing beats homemade food." She always thought it had more soul to it; it was just that much better.

Darcy lifted the lid from the iron and smiled at the perfectly golden waffle. She had learned how to cook when she had been just a little girl, and she had yet to stop. She carefully lifted the waffle from the iron and placed it on a plate and smothered it in butter before setting it down in front of her visitor.

"There you go, hot off the iron. You can put some powdered sugar on there if you want, or I just made some syrup, both are really good." Darcy had to giggle again as the rather large warrior grabbed at the syrup and completely drowned his waffle in the sweet sticky stuff.

Volstagg didn't even bother with cutting the hot cake and just used his fork to shovel as much of the thing in his mouth as possible. Once the waffle hit his tongue he thought he would die. It was hot, crisp and sweet and yet somehow fluffy and soft at the same time. He had never had anything so wonderful in his long life.

"I'm guessing that means you like it?" Darcy watched wide-eyed as the warrior purred, actually purred as he shoveled the waffle in his mouth. He just nodded at her, drops of syrup falling from his beard and mustache.

Darcy shook her head and turned around to make the next one. Over the course of the next two hours she made the entire batch, though she only had been able to enjoy one herself as Volstagg had devoured the rest.

He had patted his large stomach once he had finished the last bite, burped and thanked Darcy before going back to bed. For her part, Darcy just stood there shaking her head not really understanding what had just happened.

And so a new routine had started, after that night Volstagg would visit the kitchen late and Darcy would cook him up something delicious.

Volstagg thought he had become king, what with the divine food Darcy had prepared for him. Waffles, hot corncakes, muffins, cookies, cobblers, pies, eggs dripping in cheese sauce, anything and everything he could ever imagine.

The rest of the tower remained confused when it came to the unlikely friendship between the warrior and the intern, though most just kept their mouths shut about it. Only Tony made inappropriate comments, even though Nat, Pepper and even Sif made sure to hit him whenever he opened his mouth.

* * *

Volstagg found it a very sad day when it was time to return to Asgard. He loved his home, but he would miss Darcy's food, and truthfully he would miss Darcy. They had become great friends during his time on Midgard.

The night before he had tried to convince her to come with them, he knew her cooking skills would be appreciated on Asgard, but Darcy had just laughed and told him she wasn't going to move to an entirely new realm just to be his cook. He had been downtrodden, but he had understood…well somewhat.

Volstagg looked back at where he knew Darcy was one last time before they would be whisked away back home, but he knew she wouldn't be joining them. He sighed and turned back towards his friends.

"Wait! Wait, hold up a minute!" Darcy ran through the tower as fast as she could, hoping that she wouldn't be too late. She smiled widely as she noticed Volstagg turn around, his own smile almost hidden behind his rather excessive mustache and beard.

"Darcy! Have you changed your mind?" He couldn't help but feel hopeful, mostly when his eyes landed on the box in her hands. Though that hope died as she spoke.

"No silly, I already told you I can't leave. But here, I made you something to hopefully hold you over until I can visit." Darcy held out a large white box filled with several pastries she had been working on all night.

"Visit?" Volstagg took the box and took a peek inside, he really doubted those would be enough to hold him over until the next meal, but he didn't say that.

"Of course, that is what friends do. Now, you have a safe trip, I'll see you later big guy." Darcy leaned in and gave the warrior a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek before pulling back. She laughed as she noticed the blush staining his face and neck.

Volstagg cleared his throat and held the box just a little closer to his chest. He ignored his friends and reached out to run a single finger down Darcy's cheek. He laughed at her own blush and turned to leave. He might have been disappointed that she wasn't joining them, but he could at least look forward to her visit. He couldn't wait to introduce her to all the new ingredients on Asgard and see what she came up with.

* * *


	12. Darcy Lewis; Stark Wrangler, Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Twelve:
> 
> Character: Happy
> 
> Song: Fourth of July Rodeos ~ Chris LeDoux
> 
> Genre: Humor/Friendship
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is Avengers/IM3 AU and not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad.
> 
> Rating: M, my Darcy has a bit of a mouth on her.

* * *

Darcy Lewis; Stark Wrangler

* * *

If there was one thing that Darcy Lewis was good at, it was wrangling in scientists. Well, she should say Jane Foster actually. Not that it was a particularly hard job; her normal day consisted on making sure her scientist ate, had her coffee, and slept. But the fact was she was good at what she did, and so when she was approached by Pepper Potts to work as Stark's new PA she figured what the hell, if she could handle a brooding Jane Foster she could surely handle Tony Stark.

Damn if she wasn't wrong, so very, very wrong.

* * *

"Happy, please tell me that you are not the only one in this car?" Darcy leaned into the passenger's side already knowing the answer to her question before Happy spoke. Of course he was the only one, because Tony 'fucking' Stark was determined to kill her through heart attack.

"I'm sorry Darc; he took off as soon as I parked. Why don't you get in, I'm sure he is done with whatever it is he was doing." Happy hated to see Darcy's face as red as it was, she looked sunburnt actually. He knew what the young woman was going through; he had seen the same frustration on Pepper's face. In fact he still saw it on Pepper's face, just not as often since Darcy started working with them.

He had become friends with the young intern turned Stark Wrangler. A term coined by Darcy herself, and he had to admit it fit perfectly. On their down time he had taken to joining the young woman for bad reality TV and a bottle of cheap tequila. He had decided to take her under his wing as much as he could, knowing she would need as much help as she could get when it came to Tony.

"Thanks Happy, though I doubt he is finished. Damn it, I'm going to have to call Fury about this." Darcy climbed into the front passenger's seat, smoothing down the black pencil skirt she had yet to get used to. Happy could always be counted on to help; he had become one of her closest friends since she started at Avenger's Tower.

"Shit, he said he said he was visiting an old friend. What the hell is he getting himself into?" It didn't really shock him that Tony lied, it really wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last. Sometimes he just wanted to get Tony in the ring and let loose on him. Of course Tony always cheated, mixed martial arts his ass.

"That stupid reporter, Miranda Kloss, she did another article about him. This time she went on and on about Tony being a coward and that was why he hid himself behind the Iron Man suit. It wouldn't have been so bad, we have heard all that before, but now she's started ragging on his father and the Avengers." Darcy didn't blame him for being angry, fuck she wanted to punch the bitch a few times. The woman's work belonged in tabloids only; she wasn't sure how she got published in the more reputable papers.

"Alright, she has said nasty things before and he just ignored them. What the hell happened this time?" Tony normally ignored the reporters or showed them up by making snarky quips or doing something sensational on screen. Sure, Happy knew some of the things he had done were risky, but nothing that would need the interference of SHIELD.

"She started in on Pepper especially, calling her a social-climbing whore that is riding on the coat-tails of the Stark success. And well…." Darcy bit her lip as she remembered Tony that morning; she had never seen him loose his cool that badly. You could go after his image, his company, his intelligence, but you never went after those he loved and those he called his friends.

"Darcy…"

"She went on to say that I had been placed in my position by Tony as his next conquest, and about rumors of Pepper being lent out to the other Avengers for…for certain favors. Damn it Happy, you should have seen him, he just blew up. I've never seen it, he actually went Hulk. It was pretty scary. Even Bruce was worried." In fact the lab was still a mess hours later. She had tried to clean up what she could, but Bruce had told her he best take care of it. Bruce was always nice, too nice in Darcy's opinion. She had dealt with Thor and the shit-storm that was his brother's temper tantrum in New Mexico; she could deal with a little broken glass.

"Finish the story Darc, what is he up to?" Happy took the red light he had just stopped at as an opportunity to reach over and take Darcy's hand. He gave a little squeeze before pulling back and waiting for the light to change.

"Before he stormed off he started to rant on and on about some blackmail he had on Kloss. All I heard was something about nude photos, dogs and her office building. I'm not sure what he meant, but I really don't want to find out, because I'm afraid it is going to mean bailing him out of jail again." Darcy pinched the bridge of her nose, her glasses pushing against her brow bone harshly.

"Uh…you better just wire the money straight to the station right now." Happy cringed when he rounded the corner where he figured Ms. Kloss' office building was. Tony was, if nothing else, creative. Though this might have been a bit too far.

Darcy's hand slapped down in her lap as she looked out of the windshield. Her mouth dropped open before snapping shut as her hand automatically went straight to her cell. This was going to take a lot to sort out.

"Damn him, did he even think before he did this? There are fucking children around!" Darcy placed the cell to her ear as she waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

"When this is done you are taking me to the closest bar and you better not bring me back to the tower until I'm so drunk I actually think this is funny."

Happy removed his eyes from the fifty foot wall of kink and turned to Darcy. Maybe he could talk Pepper into giving her a raise. He doubted she would object, actually he was sure Pepper would be on board with nominating Darcy for sainthood for what she was dealing with.

"I'm not sure anyone can get that drunk."

"I'm going to fucking try, Happy; I'm going to fucking try."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Um, ok so this happened. I like it actually, I can just see Happy and Darcy sitting in a bar getting drunk while they complain about Tony. I'm not sure, but this might end up as a scene in a future Darcy/Tony I'm planning…..and no there will not be any Pepper bashing in it, I love Pepper too much.
> 
> ** Disclaimer: ** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	13. Peacock, Fandral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Thirteen:
> 
> Character: Fandral
> 
> Song: Orinoco Flow ~ Enya/Celtic Woman
> 
> Genre: Romance
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is Avengers AU and not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad.
> 
> Rating: M, mainly for just a couple of words.
> 
> * * *

Peacock

* * *

No matter what anyone said, Darcy did not find airheaded pretty boys attractive. She did not swoon at male posturing, and she most certainly didn't turn into a pile of goo when a man told her outlandish tales of his masculinity. She didn't want some strong, fairytale hero rushing in to protect her virtue, acting like a caveman the whole time.

If only someone had told Fandral that he wouldn't be dangerously close to having his junk tazered by one very pissed off Darcy Lewis.

"…and with one fell swoop I cut down the beast, his grotesque body falling upon the ground with a mighty boom! It was a most glorious battle." Fandral winked at Darcy, ignoring the other women at the banquet table. He had been very pleased when he had heard the news that Lady Darcy would be joining Thor's Jane at the Midsummer feast. He had failed once in acquiring the attention of the lovely mortal, and he vowed by the end of the week long festivities he would have her in his bed.

"And I bet the whole village rejoiced at your victory, offering up their prettiest virgins in thanks for saving them." Darcy clenched her teeth at Fandral; she had never met a more abhorrent man in all her life. He was far beyond pigheaded, and by the look he was giving her at her statement, seemed not to understand sarcasm.

"The celebrating went on for three nights straight, but I assure you Lady Darcy, not one of the virgins were as beautiful as you." So he may have elaborated just a little, there had been a celebration, but it had lasted only a single night. And there had not been a single virgin; or woman otherwise. Even if there had been he had been far too exhausted to have done much more than a little light petting. He had just been glad for the bath and bed he had been granted by the town's elder.

"Right…do any of the women on Asgard actually believe any of your crap?" Darcy was done, that was it, either he shut up or she was going to strangle the bastard right there in front of the whole hall. Jane and Thor must have realized it too, because they started making funny hand gestures at her. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the man beside her. The wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock on his face was enough to send her into a fit of giggles.

"Lady Darcy, I do not understand…"

"Forget it, I'm outta here." Not waiting for him to finish, Darcy stood up and went straight for her room. If she stayed there much longer she would kill him.

* * *

And so a pattern was set for the next week. Fandral would find Darcy no matter where she went, or how hard she tried to stay away from him, and would try to impress her with fantastic stories of his battles and conquests. Darcy would then call him out on his bullshit and walk off only for it to happen all over again in a couple of hours. It was getting to the point where she was about to ask Sif for help, maybe ask the woman to castrate him for her or something.

It was the day before they were due to leave back to Earth, and Darcy was once again forced to endure Fandral's company at dinner. Why she was always placed beside him she didn't know, but she was about to pull her hair out. Mostly as he was off on one of his stupid stories of great victory again.

"You just don't get it, do you?" Darcy wanted to sigh at the way Fandral blinked after she interrupted him. She was sure there was a brain behind all that shiny hair, if only he would use it.

"I do not understand what I am to 'get' Lady Darcy." Fandral was tired, he had tried everything he knew in order to impress the lady, but she refused to acknowledge him. It was frustrating, what was even more frustrating was that he no longer cared if he ended up getting her in his bed; he just wanted her to see him. Somewhere along the way he began seeing her as more than a conquest, she had spirit and heart, and he wanted to know her. Though as a friend or a lover he didn't know.

"Fandral…shit, you sit there and tell me all of that crap and think I'm impressed. I'm not; you are acting like an idiot, a fucking peacock of one actually. It is not attractive. I don't care how many dragons you've slain or battle scars you have.

"I don't know about Asgardian women, but I don't want some hero, I just want a real man. Illusions fade, masks break, I want truth, not lies. Think about that next time you try picking up a woman, maybe you will have better luck." Darcy stood then, looking down at Fandral and shook her head.

Fandral watched as Darcy left the hall, her whole body tense. He had never had his stories called crap before; women never said they weren't attracted to him. It was odd, and very disturbing.

"She is not one of your brainless followers; she will not kneel to your imagined greatness. I tried to tell you this from the beginning." Sif shook her own head as she watched her old friend. Fandral wasn't used to dealing with women like Darcy. Those he normally took to his bed cared nothing for lasting relationships, friendships, or anything more than the bragging rights of having bedded one of the Warriors Three. Those women were impressed by grand stories of battles and were bought with even the smallest bit of finery. They fed his ego, an ego Darcy Lewis just fell with a single blow.

"Then what type of Lady is she?" He had never encountered a woman like Darcy, she was at the same time much like Sif and their Queen Frigga, and yet she was not.

"A real woman, no illusions, no masks. Just like she was asking you to be."

* * *

Darcy stood on the balcony overlooking Asgard, her eyes taking in everything they set on. She was sad that her time there was over; though Thor had assured her she was welcome back anytime. She sighed and leaned against one of the pillars, her hair whipping in the slight breeze.

She would miss the dresses most, she thought. It was such a shame that she would be looked at funny back on Earth if she wore the beautiful silk creations she had been given. If she could she would wear them every day. Of course she would also miss all the friends she had made, though few they were.

Darcy was so deep in thought that she had not heard the footsteps behind her and jumped as a perfect red rose was held out in front of her nose. She groaned, already knowing who it was.

"Fandral, I thought we talked about this." He had tried to give her gifts before, jewels, furs, and gold. They had been beautiful, but she didn't want to encourage him.

"It is nothing but a perfectly ordinary rose. Please Lady Darcy, take it, there are no strings attached." Fandral had remained awake all night after his talk with Sif, quietly walking the corridors of the palace until the early hours of the morning. It had been close to daybreak when he had been interrupted by their queen, and given a quietly spoken lecture on the proper way to act amongst guests. Basically she had told him quite nicely that he was to stop his posturing and act like the gentleman she knew he had been raised to be.

"Fandral…" Darcy took the rose between her fingers almost expecting it to turn into a flock of doves the moment she touched it. She was relieved, and yet confused, when it did not.

"No, let me speak, please. I realize my behavior has been abhorrent since your arrival in Asgard, and I wish to apologize. It was never my intention to anger you." He wanted to reach out and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, but refrained. He was unsure if she would do him bodily harm as Sif had suggested he deserved.

"Then why did you act that way? I don't understand it; do women here actually get off on all that?" Darcy couldn't help bringing the rose to her nose, the flower smelled heavenly.

"The ones I have been acquainted with, yes. Sif has only ever been the one unaffected by my charm, but she has always been different. It had not occurred to me that you would not react like the others I have known."

"I'm not one of your sword-bunnies…um, I mean I am not some warrior fan just waiting around for the honor of being bedded by you. I don't care about battles, or powers, all I care about is the man." Darcy turned herself to face Fandral fully. When he stopped acting like a fucking peacock he was actually cute. Ok he was beautiful, too fucking beautiful actually. Why did men always have perfect, shiny hair? It was unfair.

"So I've been told. Lady Darcy, if I stopped with all the stories and trying to impress you, would you ever think on me as more than an acquaintance?" Fandral squeezed his hands tightly, forcing them to remain by his sides instead of wrapping around the mortal in front of him.

"If you just acted normal and allowed me to see the real you, yeah I think I could. One day at least." Darcy stepped forward and placed the rose behind one of his ears, her fingers grazing the shell as she pulled back.

"Why don't you work on it and get back to be, yeah?" She smiled as she leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his cheek. She couldn't help the small giggle as she walked away; the shocked expression on his face was funny.

Fandral snapped his mouth shut, his fingers going to touch the rose she had slyly given back to him. He laughed himself as he fixed it a bit more firmly in his hair. He made a promise to himself and Darcy right there, he would be seeing her again. But the next time there would be no masks or illusions.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Ok, so it doesn't really fit the song, but it is what came out as I listened to it over and over. And I think it fits Fandral and Darcy. And man, I wish I could draw, I seriously have this image of Fandral strutting through Asgard with a rose tucked behind his ear.
> 
> ** Disclaimer: ** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	14. Beautiful Day, Erik S.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Fourteen:
> 
> Character: Erik S.
> 
> Song: It's A Beautiful Day ~ Sarah Brightman
> 
> Genre: Drama/Friendship/Tragedy
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is Avengers AU and not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad.
> 
> Rating: M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **! ! ! ! ! ! ! TISSUE WARNING! ! ! ! ! ! !**

* * *

Beautiful Day

* * *

The plastic the bouquet of flowers were wrapped in crackled in Erik's hand, his fingers flexing in nervousness as he made his way down the hall. It had taken him awhile to gather his courage enough to come; he was frightened by what would happen when he knocked on that door. He hated to admit it, but he was scared, more so than he had ever been in his life.

His feet shuffled after he stopped at the large wooden door, the numbers two-twenty glued in cheap black plastic on the wall between that door and the next. He straightened out his clothes, smoothed down his hair; he did everything he could think to do in order to stall. Finally when he realized he could do nothing else without looking like a fool, he raised his hand and knocked….

The heavy door cracked open before opening fully. Erik smiled at the middle aged woman who had answered; her long brown hair a tangled mess. She bore such a striking resemblance to Darcy that Erik couldn't breathe for a moment. He hadn't met her before, but he had seen her picture once when Darcy had dropped her bag and a few things spilled out. Darcy really did take after her mother.

"Jane said you were coming today, come on in she is just finishing her lunch." Darcy's mother gave a wan smile and stood back so her daughter's friend could enter.

Erik took a few steps inside, but stopped before he could fully clear the door. He felt his heart jump into his throat and lodge itself there. His fingers curled even more tightly around the flowers in his hands, so much that he could feel his nails digging into his palms. The slight pain centered him again, and he took a deep breath before stepping fully into the room.

"Hey Erik…Oh are those for me?" Darcy smiled brightly at the man standing nervously in the room, his hair combed back with entirely too much gel. She laughed, though it was a weak, breathy sound.

"Oh, um, yeah. I wasn't sure what you would like, so I sort of just brought you a mix of things." Erik practically shoved his hand out at Darcy, his hand trembling as he watched the young woman grab a hold of the strange bunch of flowers. There were roses, daisies, lilies, and an assortment of random flowers he didn't know the name of. When he went to the florist to buy them he just sort of grabbed at random.

"I love them, thank you. Why don't you sit down, you look like you're about to collapse." Darcy sighed, she was getting used to the reaction, but it didn't mean she liked it, even if she did understand it.

"Right." Erik grabbed a chair and lowered himself on it. His bones creaked and popped, but he ignored the slight pain that age brought as he looked around him. The two of them were alone, Darcy's mother most likely allowing her daughter a bit of privacy.

"Thank you for coming, it means a lot." Darcy leaned over and set the flowers on the table beside her, the movement causing a sharp pain to move from behind her right ear, straight down to her hip. She grunted, but otherwise tried to hide it. She didn't want any more pity than she already got.

"Of course, I couldn't not…well…Darcy…" Erik felt his eyes well with tears as he looked at the normally vibrant young woman. She looked so different from how he was used to seeing her. Her skin was pale, almost translucent, all except where great purple bruises blossomed. Her eyes, once bright and full of life, had become dull and bloodshot. And the most shocking of all, he thought, was the fact that her once beautiful chocolate hair was gone.

He wanted to rage at the tubes in her nose, at lines that ran down into her arms and neck, at the machine on the other side of the bed that recorded her vitals. He wanted to scream at the world that they had the wrong woman; Darcy was too good, too alive to be this sick.

The beep of the machine grew a bit faster as Darcy watched the tears in Erik's eyes, her own filling with the accursed things. Hadn't she cried enough? Hadn't she yelled, and screamed; tore her apartment a part, prayed and begged, and cried until she thought she couldn't possibly have any more in her? How was it she was once again crying?

"Hey, enough of that now, alright? I'm fine." Darcy tried to sound confidant, but it was hard with amount of pain in her body. She was so tired, and so very, very scared.

"No, you're not…I don't understand." Erik wiped away at the tears that were falling down his cheeks. He had promised not to cry, he didn't want to, for his sake and hers.

"I don't either. It doesn't make sense, it's not fair, and I hate everything and everyone right now. Why me, why me Erik? Why do I have to die?" Darcy bit her lip, regretting it the minute she did it as she could taste blood on her tongue. She was angry, so very angry. This wasn't supposed to happen to her, she wasn't even thirty yet, God damnit!

"I wish I had an answer." Erik felt so helpless, for all their advancements, everything he had seen through SHIELD, there was nothing he could do.

"I'm so angry, and I shouldn't be. Everyone keeps telling me to just be glad I got to spend so much time with my family, and that I knew in advance so I was able to prepare. I'm supposed to be happy and grateful I've lived this long. But I'm not, I'm pissed the fuck off!" She grabbed a pillow off her bed and tossed it across the room as far as she could. Tears came then, hard and fast as she collapsed back down, that one small action enough to drain her. Each day it was getting harder and harder to stay awake, to continue to hold on. The only thing that held her together was the fear of what she knew was inevitable.

"You can be as angry as you like Darcy, you can scream and kick, curse all you want. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. What do they know? Not one of them is laying there….laying there…"

"Dying, you can say it. I'm dying, and….and I'm so fucking scared Erik. I'm scared and all I want to do is go home. I want to go home so fucking bad…only I'm not going to; am I?" Darcy covered her face with her hands, tears slipping from beneath her fingers. She wanted home.

"Hey, hey, look at me." Erik stood up then, leaning over her and peeling away her fingers. When her eyes were finally on his he cupped her face and held her there.

"Please don't be scared, we are all going to be here for you. There is nothing to be scared of."

"How can I not be scared, I'm going to die. Tell me how not to be scared, please."

Erik didn't take a second to think before he sat down on the bedside and pulled her as much as he could into his lap.

"You are just going to go to sleep, that is all. You are going to go to sleep and when you wake there will be no more pain. You are going to be healthy and perfect. So don't be scared, you are going to be in good hands, you will be taken care of." He pressed his lips to the top of her head and just held her while they both cried.

"What is it like outside? Mom said it was sunny when she got up, it hasn't started to rain has it?" Darcy pulled away; her fingers quickly wiping away the tears that made her cheeks feel tight.

"Sunny and warm, perfect picnic weather. It is a beautiful day." Erik stood up only to return right back to the chair he had occupied earlier. He reached over and grabbed her hand, holding it tightly in his own.

"Good, I would rather it be a sunny day than a rainy one. That just wouldn't do." Darcy looked over to where the window was. The curtains had been closed for days as her eyes couldn't take too much sun, not without giving her headaches.

Erik's eyes went where the young woman was looking and he was glad that she couldn't see the rivers of raindrops he was sure covered the windowpane.

It wasn't until several hours later that Erik truly understood what Darcy had meant. Not until Darcy, surrounded by her family and friends, closed her eyes and quietly slipped off to sleep. Never to wake again.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: So this is probably one of the hardest things I have ever written. I was crying through it all, as I remember my sister telling me she was scared and pleading to go home. And there was just nothing I could do about it. So, this is a bit of a personal piece. I guess I just needed to get this out.
> 
> ** Disclaimer: ** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	15. Darcy Lewis, Defender of Boyfriends, Odin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Fifteen:
> 
> Character: Odin
> 
> Song: Follow You Down ~ Gin Blossoms
> 
> Genre: Humor
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is Avengers AU and not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad.
> 
> Rating: T (Well maybe a T+ a couple of words and such but no F-bombs)

* * *

Darcy Lewis, Defender of Boyfriends

* * *

There were moments in life that you wished you could take back. Like the time you thought it would be a good idea to chug down a bottle of cheap vodka and go streaking with your friends in sub-zero weather. Or that dreadful haircut your mother forced you to get just days before you first day of high school. Or even choosing to loose your virginity to the school's football quarterback, only to find out the rumors about him had been overly….OVERLY exaggerated.

Darcy decided that she might have come across another one of those moments as she looked over at a smirking Loki.

"What?" Darcy didn't know what he was so happy about. They were both right back in the very cell she had been trying to keep him from.

"Did you actually think you could intimidate the Allfather?" Loki sniggered as he sat back. To think, little Darcy Lewis had scolded, actually scolded and threatened Odin. He would really have to marry her one day.

Darcy folded her arms across her chest and turned her nose up in the air. This was not how this was supposed to go. She had only been trying to free her boyfriend from his time out.

* * *

_Darcy ignored Jane as the other woman tried to hold her back. It wasn't fair! Loki had done his time and actually helped save Earth from the latest Big Baddie. He should not have been shuffled back off to his cell the moment he returned home. Darcy was tired of her boyfriend being treated the way he was by his father; and she was damned sure going to do something about._

_"You are crazy!" Jane had a hold of her arm, pulling as hard as she could to keep her friend from taking off into the throne room. Of course Darcy had always been deceptively strong and pulled right out of her hold._

_"Damn straight! Stand back Jane, because I'm about to bring the pain!" Darcy rushed into the throne room; and she would admit that she was a little stung that the guards didn't even twitch a finger. Surely she was at least a little frightening, a bit of a threat? But no one moved as she climbed the steps until she was face to face with Odin._

_"I have a bone to pick with you Papa!" Darcy pointed a finger at Odin's nose; and she amused herself at the fact that a one-eyed man had just gone cross-eyed. Well…yeah._

_"And what, may I ask, is that?" For his part, Odin didn't look the least bit intimidated. In fact he was rather amused. Mortals were such funny creatures._

_"What do you think you are doing putting Loki back in prison? He paid his dues!" Darcy removed her finger from his nose and proceeded to poke him in the chest._

_"He paid but a fraction of them. And I would suggest you cease touching me at once, before I place you in the dungeons as well." Though her poking hardly hurt him, it was an indignity having one's chest poked by a mortal, mostly when one was the AllFather._

_"Oh! You think you can do that to me?! I have diplomatic immunity. You can't touch my firm little ass!" For good measure Darcy stuck out her tongue. Ok, so maybe she was going a little too far, and looking a little like a child throwing a tantrum. But damn she wanted her Loki!_

_"Actually, only Jane Foster has immunity as she is an honored guest. You are, at best, my son's mistress. I could do with you as I wish." Odin leaned forward, his voice calm even though he wanted nothing more than to yell._

_"Mistress?! Listen here you sorry excuse for a father, you are a worthless waste of flesh. You lay a hand on me and I will burn you, I'll destroy you." She crossed her arms over her chest as though to say "so there!"_

_"Oh, you will, will you?" Odin saw a few of his guards move towards the mortal girl, but he held his hand up for them to wait._

_"Yes!" Darcy realized she had made a mistake the moment Odin flicked his hand and several guards grasped onto her arms and pulled her away from the throne. She went kicking and screaming, yelling every curse word that she could think of to Odin._

_"Think this will stop me?! I'll follow you wherever you go, I'll haunt your dreams! You'll regret this!"_

* * *

"Would you just shut up?" Darcy turned away from Loki; she would never understand what she saw in him. Well besides what he could do in bed, and in the shower, and on the couch…well ok so she did know. Still, he was an ass.

"Or what, you going to burn me?" Loki fell to the side as a pillow connected with his face.

Darcy slumped against the wall. She was never going to live this down.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Um, ok, so at first this was going to all angsty, Darcy yelling at Odin and threatening him that she would follow him no matter where he went and kill him, but it sort of went all silly, but hey….
> 
> ** Disclaimer: ** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	16. Deep Water, Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Sixteen:
> 
> Character: Fury
> 
> Song: Let The Poison Spill From Your Throat (Tommie Sunshine Remix) ~The Faint
> 
> Genre: Humor
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is Avengers AU and not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad.
> 
> Rating: M

* * *

Deep Water

* * *

"I hate you, I hope you know that." Darcy took a deep breath, trying to keep her head above the slowly rising water. She sneered over at the man beside her as much as she could while trying not to drown.

"It is not like I like your ass very much either, Agent Lewis." Nick Fury grumbled under his breath. Sure Agent Lewis had proven herself to be a very capable agent in the past few years, but there was one very big problem. They hated each other's guts. She was obnoxious and disruptive, to his surprise even more so than Stark. He never really understood why she hated him, though lately it seemed to do with the fact she had found out Coulson was alive and he had allowed everyone to believe him otherwise all these years.

"Just so we are on the same page. I didn't want you to think that I've gone soft and started caring for you or anything, you know since I saved your ungrateful ass." Darcy was normally grateful for the standard issue bodysuit agents out in the field wore. She looked fucking badass in the thing, and she would admit to wearing it on her days off every now and then. But at the moment she wished she was trapped with anyone else besides Director Fury, because the stupid thing was rubbing against certain parts of her, making it very painful as she treaded water. Had it been Hill, Widow, hell even Coulson and his team she would have just stripped down. She was going to die, but she would rather not die with her pikachu feeling like someone had taken sandpaper to it.

"I fail to see how this is saving me. We are trapped in a sealed room that is rapidly filling with water. And need I remind you that it is your ex that put us here?" The water had reached a point where he had to tip his head back just to keep from sucking water up his nose every time he took a breath. He could feel the water as it tried to pull him down and cursed. He slipped off his coat and allowed it to slowly sink to the bottom of the chamber. If they got out of there he would take that out of Lewis's wages, he had just broke that one in.

"Hey! How was I to know Lucius was evil?" The man was sex on legs and then some, so sue her!

"The name never tipped you off?" Fury turned towards the woman beside him; it wouldn't be long before both of them were out of room and out of air.

"Shut up." Darcy stuck her tongue out, her mouth filling up with water as the last few inches were lost as water completely covered them.

Panicked when a hand clasped down on her wrist, Darcy started thrashing until she was slammed hard into a chest. She opened her eyes ignoring the sting of the water and blinked as she noticed she was held tightly by Fury. Though it was awkward, she was thankful as her legs and arms were beginning to tire. She wound her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest. She knew the air in her lungs would run out soon and hoped he would keep her still enough as she thrashed about. Drowning was by far one of the least pretty ways to die.

Her lungs were burning; the urge to open her mouth and take a breath was overwhelming. Before she could she felt a hand clasp down on her mouth and pinch her nose. She panicked, trying to remove Fury's hand even though she knew that it was the only thing keeping water from entering her body. Still she thrashed about until a welcome blackness closed in on her.

Just before she completely blacked out she felt herself being moved through the water until she was in a wet heap on top of the chamber she had been trapped in, Fury's arms still wrapped around her.

"Hey, if I knew this is what it took to get you in my arms I would have thrown you into a pool long ago."

"Fuck off Clint." Darcy pulled herself from Fury's arms and started gulping air until the burning inside stopped.

"Every night, Sweets." Clint wiggled his brows at Darcy, yelping as Nat punched him in the arm.

"You two took fucking long enough." Fury stood composing himself much better than Darcy. For which the young agent wanted to steal one of Clint's arrows and plunge it into his remaining eye. Did the man have to make everything look fucking effortless?

"Would have been here faster but Hawkeye here decoded the signal wrong, we ended up halfway to Seattle before he realized his mistake." Nat turned a glare to her partner. Sometimes she thought he did things like this on purpose just to see what would happen. He could be just as bad as Stark when he got bored.

"Oops." Clint smiled, clearly anything but sorry for his delay. Darcy would make sure he paid dearly for it later. She had heard something buzzing around the tower about a new device Tony was working on in anticipation of his daughter growing old enough to date. Apparently with a flick of a button she could make any man impotent. Tony owed her a favor, but she was sure he would be happy for a human trial run anyway.

"What of Mr. Wickam?" Fury ignored the antics of the agents in front of him, it wasn't the first time it had happened, and sadly he knew it wouldn't be the last.

"Down for the count, Sir, and ready for transport." Nat helped Darcy to stand, her arms slipping around her shoulders to keep her upright. Though it had taken a while, the two had become good friends, bonding over the idiot that was Clint Barton.

"Good, now let's get the fuck out of here. Oh, and Agent Lewis?" Fury turned where he stood, his lips curling into a rather nasty smile.

"Uh, yes?" She really hoped he wouldn't reprimand her; it wasn't like it was her fault. Not really…damn, she really didn't want to go through the refresher course again.

"You owe me another coat. I'll have Hill send you my measurements."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: I don't know, I love Agent Darcy Lewis and this just sort of happened. Anyway…
> 
> When I was trying to come up with a name for her ex I went to ask my Da, I wanted a name for an evil man that sounded evil and would be a sort of duh! What does he come up with? Not-So-Nice-Fred. Got to love my Da.
> 
> ** Disclaimer: ** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	17. Darcy Lewis, Femme Fatale, Black Widow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Seventeen:
> 
> Character: Black Widow
> 
> Song: Paparazzi ~ Lady Gaga
> 
> Genre: Humor with a bit of sort a romance (though not Nat/Darcy, at it is seriously ridiculous actually)
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is Avengers AU and not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad.
> 
> Rating: M

* * *

Darcy Lewis, Femme Fatale

* * *

"Right, um Nat, I'm not sure this is really working for me." Darcy looked at herself in the mirror, the little black dress stretched tightly against her more than ample chest. When Fury had informed her that her S.O. would be Nat, this was really not what she thought her training would turn out being.

"Let me be the judge of that and get your ass out here." Nat lounged back in her chair, a glass of wine in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. They really didn't have time for Darcy to play the shy virgin, Fury wanted Lewis field ready as quickly as possible. Being friends with Thor was both a blessing and a curse it seemed.

"Yeah, you're going to be seeing a lot more of my ass then you wish to if I go out there." Seriously, the Black Widow was one bad ass chick, Darcy had personally seen her beat the fuck out of seven bulky men. That was what she thought she was going to be taught, how to take down a dozen Thor sized baddies without breaking a sweat. Not…this…

"I've never been wrong when it comes to picking the perfect size. Now get the fuck out here now before I drag you out by that pretty hair of yours." It was strange, Nat thought, how shy the other woman was about her body. She was out spoken, snarky, and even cruel at times, but Nat had never seen her without her layers.

"I hate you." Darcy took a deep breath, though she was afraid her nipples might just pop out the top of the dress. The fact was that the dress wasn't as small as she was making it out to be, but she had never been comfortable in something that showed that much of her flesh.

Pushing the door open completely, Darcy stepped out of the bathroom and stood in front of Nat. She felt like fidgeting as the older woman looked her up and down, twirling her finger around as an order for her to turn around. Darcy complied, knowing that she would forcefully make her do it. She had learned that the hard way.

"I don't know what you are complaining about, it is a perfect fit. Now walk, back and forth from wall to wall." Nat took a drink of her wine, holding in the smile that wanted to spread across her lips. She had never been in charge of someone's training before, and she had to admit to enjoying putting a little fear into the other woman. Or simply annoying the fuck out of her.

Darcy walked back and forth, first to one wall and then to the other, listening to Nat ramble off insults at every turn. Ok, so they weren't supposed to be insults, they were supposed to be helpful. For some reason everyone thought it would be a good idea to teach the poor little intern to be a damned Femme Fatale. She figured it was the boobs, it had to be the boobs.

"Better, but you have to learn to own the room. Remember, you are not just the sexiest woman in the room, you are The Sex plain and simple. When you walk into a room it and every one in it is at your command." Standing up from her chair, Nat made a few steps forward until she stood toe to toe with Darcy.

"I still don't understand how being and acting sexy will make me a good agent. Shouldn't I be learning how to use all those guns in the weapons locker?" Darcy had learned how to use a couple of different styles of guns, even having an impromptu archery lesson with Clint. Which was probably the closest thing to good sex she had had since joining SHIELD. Who would have known weapons training could be so sensual?

"You will learn how to use those later. Right now these are your weapons." Nat flicked a finger across Darcy's chest, tapped her legs with a foot, and smacked her hip lightly. Darcy was just glad she didn't smack her ass.

"Great, so Tits of Doom, what am I supposed to do, shoot bullets out of my nipples?" Darcy cupped her chest lightly and pushed them up as she spoke. All of it was ridiculous. She supposed she could suffocate a man between the girls, but like hell she was sleeping with a man just to kill him.

"You don't seem to understand just what you are being trained to do. Your missions will not always be a kill target, you will be sent out to infiltrate and gather information. During many of those carrying an actual weapon could actually get you killed. Later you will learn how to defend yourself without a gun, but right now this is your focus." Nat wondered just what Fury was thinking. Sure, the younger woman had the body, and the mind, but she really didn't seem like agent material to her.

"Fine, so tell me how the hell my fucking tits are weapons, cause I'm not seeing it." Darcy lifted her hands up, slapping them back down on her hips with a loud clap.

"Your goal in a mission such as I told you is to gather information. To do this you will have to cozy up to whoever your target is. Men are easy to distract, a flash of breast will render most of them speechless." As though to emphasize her point she adjusted the low collar on Darcy's dress.

"I thought my goal was to get them to speak, how can I do that if they've gone mute from my boobs?"

"Sorry, wrong wording. I should have said it renders them stupid. From that point on all they'll have on their minds is how they can get in your pants. They will try to impress you, do you know how many wars I've stopped just because a guy couldn't shut his mouth when he was trying to get me to open my legs? They will tell you everything, and all you have to do is think they have a chance. Now, again." Nat turned and walked back over to her chair, sitting down in such a way that made it look effortless.

Darcy sighed, but turned and continued to walk. She put a little more swing in her hips, held her shoulders back just a bit more. It did make her feel more in control, though she feared she looked silly. For the next four hours Nat worked her hard, walking back and forth, learning how to perch herself on a chair, just why a cigarette was sexy, so on and so forth. She thought her legs would fall off by time Nat called an end to the lesson.

"Finally!" Not caring how she looked, Darcy flung herself down on a chair and quickly removed the damned heels with an audible groan.

"Don't forget to take those with you, you have your first mission tomorrow." The smile that spread across Nat's face was pure evil. She had been looking forward to this moment since Fury brought up the idea.

"What?! I'm not ready, there is no way I can actually complete a mission. I would probably start a fucking war, not end one!" Darcy wouldn't lie, she was panicking. She had only been training for a few months, she was sure it took years before trainee agents got sent out on their very own missions.

"I doubt you will start a war. This is your mission, read it, memorize it, burn it. I'm looking forward to seeing your results tomorrow. Good Night." Nat dropped a file on Darcy's lap and turned to leave not staying to see the girl's reaction.

Darcy stared wide-eyed at the retreating figure of her S.O. and down to the file and back again. It took her a few minutes for her to finally snap her mouth shut and open the file in her lap. She hadn't known what to expect, it could be anything from coaxing the time and date of a governmental meeting from a secretary to seducing the leader of a drug cartel. What she found inside though made her laugh and leave for her room. She had some planning to do.

* * *

Darcy looked at herself in the mirror, giving herself a smug smile at the outfit she had managed to put together. She had opted out of the little black dress Nat had forced her into, though she did keep the heels. She smoothed down the collar of the stolen men's shirt, the tips flaring out more towards her shoulders as she had the first four buttons undone, the fifth straining against her breasts. She rarely ever wore the skinny jeans she had chosen that morning, but they still fit perfectly.

She gave one last pout to her image before leaving her bathroom and room fully and headed straight for the elevator. She couldn't help but smile as the doors closed, she had been nervous about her first mission, she wasn't ready. What she read in the file alleviated her fears completely, she wondered just who's idea the test run had been.

Stepping out of the elevator Darcy reached up to fluff her hair, allowing it to flutter around her wildly. She opened the large glass door, her eyes focusing on her target the moment she was in the room. He had yet to see her, but she knew he normally zoned out while he worked.

Her heels clicked across the floor, tapping out a steady rhythm. Her back was straight, shoulders back, hips swaying just enough to look effortless. She had to hold back a laugh when she caught sight of Bruce across the room, he had stopped what he had been doing and just stood there with his jaw practically on the floor.

"Better shut that mouth Doctor, flies might get in." Ok, so maybe that was a little much, but she was actually having fun.

Bruce snapped his mouth shut, though his eyes remained on the young woman that had entered the room. He had spent time with Darcy a lot since she came to live in the Tower, first when she had just been a friend and assistant of Jane's, and then after she started her training as a SHIELD agent. She was a sweet girl, though sarcastic, but he had never seen her look the way she did just then. And surely he was dreaming because she could not actually be wearing…could she?

Darcy walked past Bruce, her eyes focused fully now only on her target. He was hunched over a worktable tinkering away on one of his many inventions. She saddled right up to the table, leaning back against it only a few inches away.

"Hello Darcy, and what can I do for our resident Taser Queen today? I've been working on an upgrade of the standard taser design, it should be able to take down Thor even when he has not been degoded…ungoded…whatever." Tony didn't look up when Darcy finally made it to his table. It wasn't unheard of for the woman to visit him while he worked, they had a sort of friendship after all. It was a strange friendship that included sharing a bottle of scotch while thinking up new nicknames for their other friends. But it was a friendship nonetheless.

"I wouldn't mind a bit of a demonstration to see just what your taser can do." OH. MY. GOD, that did not just come out of her mouth did it?

"Always happy to obli….woah!" Tony looked up from his work expecting to find the normally layered Darcy, only to be greeted with the Grand Canyon of cleavage. He blinked a moment before looking up further and just blinked again. Darcy looked completely disheveled, and in the most delicious way.

"You alright there Tony?" Darcy leaned down just a bit, stopping herself from rolling her eyes at the man beside her. He actually looked like he was about to drool.

"Um, what? Oh, yeah, yeah I'm fine. What was it that you wanted again?" He had to be imagining this, sweet, funny Darcy Lewis could not be standing beside him looking like sex, and in his fucking shirt? He had to have fallen asleep while working again, that was it, he was asleep and he was dreaming. But what a fucking dream!

"Oh, nothing. I was just bored and thought I would see what you are up to. You are always doing something interesting." Darcy played a bit with the collar of her shirt, well his shirt, deliberately exposing the strap of her hotrod red bra.

"Oh I'm up to something really interesting right now, I assure you." Fuck, if this wasn't a dream then it had to be Christmas. He set down the tools he had in his hands back on the table and without a word grabbed Darcy's waist and pulled her into his lap.

"I can see that. So, what are you working on?" Darcy wiggled in Tony's lap a bit, stopping and turning to look at the table before them as soon as she heard him groan.

"Just something I'm playing around with, nothing for you to worry about." Tony couldn't think clearly as the woman in his arms squirmed. Maybe setting her on his lap while he was working was a bad idea.

"Oh come on, it's not like I'm going to tell anyone." Darcy turned back around and leaned into him until her chest was pressed tightly against his.

"It's just a little side project, nothing exciting." He could feel a trickle of sweat slip down his spine, he should have just got up and pulled her upstairs as soon as he saw her in his shirt. He knew she would never tell anyone about the device he was working on, but he didn't really want to reveal it to anyone yet. The fact was he knew that if Fury got wind of it he would probably be forced to give it up.

"I doubt that. You do realize just how turned on I get when you speak science, right?" She flung one arm around his shoulders and reached over to place her lips right next to his without actually touching.

"Really?" Tony had pretty much stopped thinking at that point, well beyond figuring out just how long it would take to get from that table to his bed if he ran and used the elevator or if he should just don his suit and fly them to his room.

"Really, it's like the fucking Niagara Falls down there." Ok, seriously what the fuck? Before she knew it she was going to start sounding like a damn porno movie.

"Fuck." Alarm bells were blaring in his head, Darcy had never acted like that before, never shown even the slightest bit of interest in him in a sexual manner. The problem was that those bells were being shut off by his libido, it was telling him to shut the fuck up because he was about to get laid by a sexy woman.

"Not yet, talk science to me first, what does the little black box do?" Darcy leaned away from Tony, her free hand going behind her. This was too easy, pathetic actually.

"I-it's a teleportation system, based off of the Bifrost Jane has been working on, only more compact. Only it isn't a two way. The box is link to several small rings, like this one." Tony held up his hand and showed a single silver ring on his right pinky finger.

"That's pretty, can I try it on?" Darcy removed her arm from his shoulder and held her hand out as he placed the ring on her finger. She looked at it and returned her arm over his shoulder.

"The box, when activated, will transport all those that wear the rings to its…its location." Tony reached up and threaded his hand in Darcy's hair, pulling her face towards his. He thought he would die the moment he pressed his lips to hers, damn if she didn't taste perfect.

The kiss didn't last long before Darcy pulled back. She gave him a bright smile and a bit of a wiggle in his lap.

"Mmm, I'll tell you what, I'm going to go get comfortable and you can join me as soon as you are finished. I want to hear more later. See you Tin Man." She gave a small peck to the tip of his nose, hopped off his lap and with a wave towards Bruce she left. Way too easy.

Tony just sat there a moment trying to get his brain to jump start again. He wasn't sure what just happened.

"Hey Tony, wasn't there a box on your table a moment ago?" Bruce couldn't help but laugh at what he had just witnessed. He wasn't sure what had been going on, a prank or what, but it had been funny watching as Darcy turned his friend into a puddle of lusty goo and then took off his invention.

Tony turned towards his table, blinking as he noticed the empty spot where the black box once had been.

"Fuck! She stole the ring too!" He turned a glare at Bruce who busted out laughing. So much for loyalty.

* * *

Darcy knocked on Nat's door fifteen minutes later, holding out the black box and ring in her hand as the door opened.

"Mission complete." She smiled widely, handing over the items to her S.O. before entering the room.

"Any problems?" Nat sat the items on her table to return to Tony later. It was pathetic that he thought he was being secretive, he had two spies living in his tower along with one in training.

"Are you kidding me?! If I had worked it just a few more minutes I probably could have gotten him to allow me to try on his suit. Seriously that was too easy, using sex to manipulate Tony Stark is like using raw steak to get a dog to follow you." Darcy flopped down on one of the chairs. Could they have devised an easier task?

"That was only your first test, I've a few more for you later on. So, what did you learn from this one?" Nat was already running ideas for future tasks through her mind, she wondered if she could get away with setting her on Fury.

"The girls make the boys drool, guys find it funny when their best friends are being tricked, and Tony Stark is one hell of a kisser." Darcy laughed as Nat just looked at her blankly.

Hopefully Tony wouldn't be too sore with her later on, she actually hadn't been lying when she told him about what turned her on.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Right, so there you are some Nat with a bit of Tony thrown in there for a bonus. And if you've ever read my oneshot "Beam Me Up, Scotty" you know where the black box is from.
> 
> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


	18. The Ancient's Light, Jane Foster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Eighteen:
> 
> Character: Jane Foster
> 
> Song: The Mystic's Dream ~ Loreena McKennitt
> 
> Genre: Fantasy/Drama
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is Avengers AU and not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad.
> 
> Rating: T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Ok, so while not Thor 2 compliant, this is going on the belief that Jane has met Odin and Frigga. This is also so very AU, it is not even funny.

The Ancient's Light

* * *

Jane had one belief that she held onto tightly, and that was that everything in the universe could be explained by science one way or another. Every phenomenon, every supposed superhero and villain, everything including Thor and his Asgard could be explained using science. So it wasn't surprising that the current situation had Jane not only stumped, but rightly pissed off.

"I don't understand…how?" Jane looked down at the instrument in her hand, eyes just about popping out as the little dial spun uncontrollably in its little bubble.

"Not everything is meant to be explained, sometimes you just have to believe." Darcy…Not Darcy, smiled indulgently at her friend. She had known this day would come, and she had understood how Jane would react, still it wasn't helping matters.

"But…but…there has to be…" Jane waved her free hand up and down at the woman that was before her. This was not the Darcy Lewis she had known all these years. Hell this wasn't Darcy Lewis at all, but some, some…she wasn't sure what she was actually, besides practically glowing and pointy-eared.

"An explanation? Well, yeah there is actually, but I doubt you will be too pleased to hear it. It deals with not science, but magic and a world your dear Thor could only dream about." Darcy swirled her hand around, producing a small crystal that rested just at the tips of her fingers. Thor was still so young, he would not have memories of the Great Massacre. Oh but his father would, and his mother; dear, dear Frigga.

"Magic is just…science." Jane fell short as Darcy/Not Darcy shook her head, a sad smile on her face. She couldn't understand how she had not seen her friend's deception, how could she have not realized that her intern was an…elf?

"Or science is just magic, written out so those less inclined to the natural magics may understand and practice. Believe what you like, but not one of your instruments will be able to explain me away." Darcy flicked the crystal from hand to hand, watching as Jane's eyes followed as though fearing it would been thrown at her any second. It bothered her that she would think that she would bring harm to her, no matter what form she took.

"Ok, well then why don't you explain it? Who are you, what are you?" Jane clutched at the instrument in her hand, taking a few steps back until her legs hit the arm of the chair.

"It is a long story, one that takes place several thousand years before even your Thor was born." Darcy twirled the crystal in her hands a few times before banishing it with a simple flick of her wrist.

"I…um I have time." She really didn't, but after watching her assistant transform into…whatever it was she had become, everything else would just have to wait. She wanted answers, and she wanted them now.

"I figured you would say that. Very well…I guess we should start off with your questions. I am Agrona, and as for what I am…we are known as Weavers, though you mortals gave us a very different title." Darcy/Agrona took a couple of steps closer to Jane, her smile fading as she noticed the other woman flinch.

"You do not have to be afraid, I will not hurt you. I wish only to tell you my story in the quickest way I know how. Now relax, you are in no danger." Darcy/Agrona moved forward until she stood toe to toe with Jane, lifting and placing her hands on the mortal woman's temple.

"Just close your eyes…"

* * *

Jane felt a pressure behind her eyes, not unlike the start of a sinus headache. She clenched her eyes shut, only to open them a moment later when she realized the sounds around her had changed.

She began to panic as she looked around her, instead of the lab she had been in she now stood in the middle of a cobbled street. The pressure of a hand on her shoulder made her jerk and turn around, her eyes widening as she noticed Darcy. Her assistant had looked strange when she had seen her before, but now she was so altered that Jane had to take a moment to recognize her.

Darcy stood there beside her, hair so long that it touched the ground, her eyes vibrant and almost glowing. But what made Jane blink were the lines of purple that ran up and down the bridge of her nose and into her arching brows. For a moment she thought it only makeup, but as the light hit it she realized they were actually natural skin markings.

"Where are we?" Jane wanted to move away from Darcy's hold, but there were other strange people walking about, and well Jane was all about the devil you know at the moment.

"My kingdom, or what was once my kingdom. This place is nothing more than long forgotten ruins, now covered in great, thick bogs." Agrona waved her hand and the busy cobbled streets faded away until there was nothing but miles of thick, greasy looking bogs. With another wave the people were once again back.

"Time has forgotten my world, much as it will one day forget yours. That is the way of this planet, we are all merely placeholders for the next race." Removing her hand from Jane's shoulder, Agrona stepped in front of her and bid her to follow.

"What are Weavers?" Jane followed, though at a slow pace. She couldn't take her eyes off of the figures moving around her. They were not what she would have thought of as elves, then again she had grown up on Lord of the Rings and had expected, should they exist, they would be all tall and willowy. But the people she saw were all very much like Darcy, short and curvy, long flowing hair and facial markings. Only the skin tone and hair color differed really.

"Some say we are Fae, others call us elves, your people called us gods. We are none of those, and yet I guess we are a bit of each. We were born of nature, of the threads that connect all things, and it was our duty to keep those threads untangled." Agrona smiled wistfully as she watched small children play in the courtyard. It had been many years since she had visited this memory. It was not that she wanted to forget, but it was painful to remember.

"This place seems so vast, what happened?" Jane's fear disappeared as she watched various people perform acts of magic, things she believed were mere child's play for the Weavers, and yet were beyond her understanding.

"It was, very vast. I ruled over a great kingdom, my Sister Queens and Brother Kings beside me. We ruled our people fairly, there was never any famine, war or violence. During our reign the kingdom was peaceful. Only we made a mistake, and it cost us everything." Opening up the gates to the Great Gardens, Agrona waited until Jane had entered. She grasped Jane's hand and held her back when she started to walk toward the fountain in the center.

Jane blinked a few times when she noticed that resting on the fountain in the center of the garden sat another Darcy, this one much more regal than the one currently holding her back.

"We had lived with peace for so long we forgot that others still had such hatred and darkness in their blood. I should have known, but I was just as blind. I hadn't wanted to believe it, and so I refused to even when it had been thrust under my nose."

Jane was about to ask what she had meant, but gasped when two very familiar figures stepped out of the stone building and towards the memory Darcy.

"Is that?" She had known they had been involved with her planet's history, in fact Darcy had…. Jane turned to look at the woman beside her, eyes narrowed.

"When you told Erik about the Vikings believing the Asgardians to be gods, you hadn't been guessing, had you?"

"Of course not, we knew what Odin had been doing. We hadn't put a stop to it, because our own people could be accused of doing the same thing. We should have though, maybe things would have turned out differently." Agrona clenched her hands into fists as she thought about all those years ago and watched on as the couple she once called friends conversed with her past self.

"What happened?" Jane turned her eyes back towards the three people in the center of the garden, hardly believing as they laughed and talked as though old friends. Though she supposed at one time that was what they had been.

"Betrayal. We had been careless, allowing Odin and his court to see too much of our power. He had begun to fear it, fear how easily we could rise against him and overpower his armies. He was supposed to be the Allfather after all, he was the self appointed ruler of the Nine Realms.

"He liked to think of himself as the most powerful being, and it frightened him when he realized we could be a threat to his empire. Had we wanted to, we could have raised an army to rival his and taken to controlling the Nine Realms as was his desire. But we had worked hard for our peace, and war had been banished from our minds." Their lands had once been embroiled in war after war, Agrona knew that the beginning of her reign had been written in blood, but she had put all that behind her.

"Odin….what are you saying?" Jane didn't like where this was going, she knew that Odin was a bit of a…well bastard actually, but surely he wouldn't…would he?  
Agrona just smiled and waved her hand again until the two of them stood in the middle of a dark room. Jane looked about, her eyes stopping on the sleeping figure in the middle of the bed. Even with only the moonlight it wasn't hard to make out Darcy's features.

"It had been in the dead of night, just after the Midsummer Feast. He had known we would be at our weakest then, having imbibed great amounts of mead and celebrated until we could no longer see.

"Odin had brought with him his greatest warriors, and silently they crept into our chambers and one by one murdered us; women, children and all."  
Jane shuddered as she heard the wailing screams and pleas rising up through the castle. She had known Odin was capable of a great many horrible things, but genocide? It turned her stomach, not just because of what she was hearing, but knowing she would not be able to keep such information from Thor.

"Only myself and my Sister Queens and Brother Kings survived, and that was because Odin had missed one thing; his wife."

The doors to the chamber opened, and Jane watched on wide-eyed as a cloaked Frigga snuck into the room. The memory Frigga crawled up onto the bed as the memory Darcy was awoken by the screams of her people.

"She had learned too late about her husband's ill deeds, but she had been able to save a few of us. She stole into our rooms, gifting us with The Ancient's Light."  
The memory Frigga leaned her forehead on Darcy's, her words too whispered for Jane to hear.

"Through the light we had been able to flee, hidden from Odin and his warriors. Since then we have hidden ourselves among your people, watching you grow and mature. But we are always waiting; waiting for a chance to gain back what was taken from us."

The scene around them changed as soon as memory Darcy had fled from her chambers, a small crystal pendant around her neck; The Ancient's Light.

"That is why I chose you. I had heard you were looking for the bridge, and through you I knew I would find my way to Asgard. It worked better than I had ever hoped, having Odin's favorite son practically fall right in my lap."

Images from the moment that Darcy had first seen the advertisement Jane had put up, to the moment that Jane had watched as her assistant changed flashed before them. It made Jane dizzy, watching the whirring colors and listening to the mess of voices all mingled together. When it finally stopped and they were back in the lab Jane pushed away from Darcy, bending at the waist as she tried to catch her breath.

"What do you plan to do?" Jane was no fool, Odin had murdered her people in cold blood, it would not surprise her if Darcy planned to do the same thing.

"Do you really wish to know, to have that on your conscience?" Agrona remained where she stood, knowing all she would do is destroy their friendship further if she moved to touch her again.

"No…no I don't. Just, just promise me you won't hurt Thor. He hadn't even been born yet, he is not guilty of his father's deeds." She would get down on her hands and knees if she had to, but she could not sit by and watch as Thor was murdered for the sins of his father.

"You have my word that he will remain unharmed as long as he stays out of my way. There is only one life I wish to take, but I will take those I must in order to get to him." Agrona took a step forward before stopping and changing back into the form Jane had always known her as.

Jane watched warily as Darcy, once again her Darcy, stood beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I am sorry Jane, none of this had been my intention when I sought you out. I had never planned to care for you, and yet here we are. I dare say you have become my best friend."

"If you are my best friend, then you will promise me that you won't hurt Thor. I will not allow you to harm him." Jane fully stood up, squaring her shoulders as she looked upon the woman she had once thought she had known.

"What do you plan on doing if I refuse to make that promise?" Agrona slid her hand from Jane's shoulder until it rested in the curve of her neck. She had come too close to her goal, she would not allow anything to get in her way.

"I will alert Odin to your plans, I am sorry Darcy, but I won't let you near Thor." The look in Darcy's eyes scared Jane, but she held her ground. Thor would be safe.

"Then I am sorry Jane, so sorry." Placing her other hand on Jane's temple, Agrona pressed in lightly. This was not how she wanted things to go, but Odin had to die and she wouldn't allow anything to get in her way. Not even Jane Foster.

* * *

Jane blinked up at the lights buzzing above her. She squinted when a pain shot through her head, her hands immediately going to press against her sore temples.

"Hey, back from the dead I see. Nice to know I'm not going to have to carry your fat ass to your room."

Jane turned her head to see Darcy sprawled out in what she had claimed as her chair, she had a pint of ice-cream cradled in her lap, a spoonful already halfway to her mouth.

"What happened? The last thing I remember was…I was recalibrating something wasn't I?" Jane sat up, though slowly as her head was pounding. She hadn't felt this bad since her first days in college when she had gotten completely shitfaced and had woken up in some random jock's bed. Something she was not proud of, and yet still wished she could remember better. That guy had one hell of an ass on him.

"Yeah, that thingamabob over there. I'm not sure what happened, one minute you are tinkering away and the next I hear you scream and find you face first on the floor with half the table on your head." Darcy stuffed the spoonful of ice-cream into her mouth, swirling it around with her tongue before finally swallowing it.

"I must have tripped over a wire or something. Thank you for getting me to the couch." Jane blinked a few times, realizing that she must have hit her head pretty hard as she was seeing double of Darcy. Not just double, but one of the Darcys had pointed ears and purple lines on her face. She shook her head until the image went away.

"Welcome, but you owe me now. You may not look it, but that fat ass of yours is heavy." Darcy plunked her spoon back into the ice-cream, scooping up another bite to stuff into her mouth.

"Fine, yeah, whatever. You can have tomorrow off, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do anything anyway." Jane stood, though unsteadily, and started to make her way to the bathroom. As she passed Darcy she stopped, looking down she had the strangest feeling as though she had forgotten something, but after the weird look the younger girl sent her way she moved on. She really must have hit her head hard.

Once her boss had entered the bathroom, Darcy placed the carton of ice-cream down on the table before her. She sat up straight, and with a flick of her wrist produced a crystal.

"I really am sorry Jane."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Ok, yeah I really am not sure. At first I was going to do one where Jane found out she had powers or something, maybe was getting strange dreams…and well this happened.  
> For anyone that had read my work before, the Weavers as an original group of characters of mine, and I have used them before in "A Power To Poison Dreams" though this is sort of a different back story for them than what I used in that one. Though I kind of like this one better. Anyway, hope you enjoyed Magical!Darcy. I don't know, but this could possibly be turned into a longer story, maybe even a Tasertricks. Don't know yet as I am really working on my Sherlock fics right now.
> 
> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


	19. Time Out, JARVIS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Nineteen:
> 
> Character: JARVIS
> 
> Song: Workin' For A Livin' ~Garth Brooks and Huey Lewis
> 
> Genre: Humor
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Nothing really, this is not Thor 2 compliant as I've yet to see the movie…and this makes me very, very sad. Also this is pretty much all Iron Man AU, Tony and Pepper never got together.
> 
> Rating: M

It wasn't that Darcy was ungrateful, she wasn't…really. She would be the biggest bitch on the planet if she was, she knew that. How many people would give their right eye to be in her position?

She currently worked for Tony Stark as his PA, which really meant that she was his twenty-four seven babysitter and gofer. She really shouldn't complain, her job meant that she lived in Avenger's Tower, had all the latest toys from Stark Industries, and drove a fucking Mercedes-Benz; and not even the current model, no Tony had one specially made for her. Her closet, which used to hold Wal-Mart and thrift store crap now was filled with Prada, Dolce and Gabbana, and Gucci; just to name a very few.

So no, Darcy wasn't ungrateful, but she was terribly pissed off at her boss. Why, one may ask, it was simple; he was a Goddamned idiot that did stupid things to land himself in the hospital, which left her to take care of the rest of the Avengers staying in the tower. For some reason they all thought that since she worked for Tony that meant she worked for them as well.

"Ms. Lewis, may I inquire what you are doing?" JARVIS's voice rang out through the room. He had been instructed by Mr. Stark that he was too observe the young woman and report everything back to him. Currently Ms. Lewis was dismantling his console, playing with the wires inside.

"I'm working." Darcy smirked, she had come to her wits end that morning when Clint had shoved a basket of laundry in her hands and ordered her to wash his dirty boxers. Not just was them, oh no, they had to be soaked and scrubbed by hand. She had taken the basket with a forced smile and left while Bruce yelled after her that he needed her to pick up a package for him.

She had marched off muttering about how Tony owed her big time, like a month long vacation on a private island kind of owed her. Realizing when Steve walked by and asked her to do something as well, that nothing was worth all that shit, she had gone straight to the window and tossed Hawkeye's boxers right out. A wicked smile spread across her face as she watched the damned things flutter down to the group of fan girls that always camped outside, it was time to take matters into his own hands.

"Your job description does not include tinkering with my program, Ms. Lewis. I would suggest that you cease and desist immediately." While he spoke, he also tried to locate whatever it was that Ms. Lewis was doing to him, but every time he got close he found himself up against an unbreakable wall. Mr. Stark would not be happy at all.

"Oh, but taking care of all those ungrateful bastards is not in my job description either. I take orders from one bastard only, and he is currently in a hospital bed because he couldn't fucking listen to me." She would get Tony back later for that damned stunt, she told him that he couldn't get himself into that position.

"What are you doing, Ms. Lewis? I can not seem to trace your movements, I have been blocked." He started compiling everything that had been happening, ready to send it straight to Mr. Stark. Hopefully his creator would have the means to stop the young woman.

"Oh, nothing much. It is just time for a little time out, Mama is fucking tired and needs a soak and a drink." With one final bit of tinkering Darcy stepped back and placed the console cover back on. She smiled widely as she heard several door slam shut and the wonderful sound of locks clicking into place.

"You have overridden my security program. I do not think this is advisable, Ms. Lewis." Now that she was out of his console he could detect everything she did, though he still couldn't undo it. She had successfully put Avenger's Tower in lockdown, along with the Avengers themselves.

"Oh don't get your wires in a twist, if there is a real emergency everything will unlock. You also retain control of security of the outer building, cameras, and everything else important. All I did was lock in the others, and unless Bruce goes Hulk, they won't be able to get out. I'm tired of dealing with their shit." Darcy smiled and winked at JARVIS's camera before sauntering off to her bathroom, disrobing along the way.

"Now, don't bother me unless someone is actually dying."

* * *

Tony flicked his finger along the screen, going back over the report JARVIS had sent him just moments before. He couldn't help but laugh as he reread it. He had known Darcy was one clever little hellcat when he had hired her, and this just proved it.

"That's my girl." Clearing the screen of the report, Tony laid further back in his bed. He knew that JARVIS was hoping he would fix what Darcy had done, but he was actually proud of his little hellcat. Plus it deserved the others right for thinking they could mess with what was his.

"JARVIS, bring up the live footage from the bathroom." He might have been stuck in that stupid bed, but he didn't think he should be deprived of his Darcy while he was there.

"It seems, Sir, that she has disabled all cameras in the en suite."

"Damn it!"

* * *

Lounging back in the bath, Darcy laughed out loud as Tony's voiced echoed through their rooms. Served him right, maybe next time he would actually listen to her when she reminded him that he wasn't twenty anymore.

* * *


	20. This Picture Perfect Portrait, Steve Rogers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Twenty:
> 
> Character: Steve R/Captain America
> 
> Song: In Another's Eyes ~ Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood
> 
> Genre: Romance/Angst
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Maybe a bit for Thor 2, but this completely ignores The Winter Soldier as I have yet to see it.
> 
> Rating: K

Sunlight filtered through the fluttering lace sheers creating shifting patterns on the ivory walls. Steve watched the shapes twist and turn, wondering how he came to be where he was. He had tried to move on, move past those things from before…before the ice and sleep. It was what was expected of him, to adapt to this brave new world he found himself in.

He had made friends, learned to traverse all the obstacles of the twenty-first century, both mundane and significant. He had continued to protect his country, his people and his world. Continued to be a symbol of freedom, valor, and honor. And yet there were things in his past he could not let go, in particular one very important woman.

Steve reached down to pick up the item on the table he had tried many times to throw away. A sad smile twisted his lips as he looked down at the bright eyes of Peggy. Once he had believed her to be his future, how strange it was to find himself without her now. It should be her in the other room, draped in white satin, her hair curled up perfectly to pin her veil. It should have been her.

He closed his eyes and allowed his hands to drop down to his sides, the heavy ping of the watch hitting the floor as he opened his fingers. He had tried to move forward, in mind and in heart. He had thought he had been successful when he met Darcy, how wrong he had been.

Darcy was beautiful, strong and lively. He could see them spending the rest of their lives together, raising children, grandchildren. So why couldn't he push Peggy from his heart?

They had been introduced by Thor when he had returned to Earth, the young woman trailing behind Dr. Foster like an eager puppy. Her smile had been infectious, and though her manner had been somewhat crude, he had been drawn to her. She had befriended him easily enough, taking every opportunity to visit him. She had become his one bright spot in this new world, a friend that could make him smile and laugh without much effort at all. It had been wonderful until Tony ruined it.

It had been after one of Tony's many movie nights that the man had brought to his attention Darcy's changing feelings. Steve truthfully hadn't realized, hadn't noticed the way she looked at him or how she touched him. At the time he had felt something akin to fear when Tony told him. He had loved one woman, and though his chance with her was gone, he could not see himself with another. He should have listened to himself then.

It wasn't that he didn't love Darcy, she had become his world. The problem was that he felt guilty that he couldn't remove Peggy from his heart and give Darcy all of him. She deserved all the world, and he feared that he would kill her in the end. That she would one day realize that he was torn, that he belonged partly to a lost future and she would grow to hate him. He could never live with himself if that ever happened. He didn't want to see the resentment, the hate and pain that would be swimming in her eyes once she found out.

A knock at the door brought Steve out of his thoughts. He turned just as the door opened to reveal Tony, a bright smile on the billionaire's face.

"Hey, I know marriage is a scary thing, but there is no need to cry. Leave that to the women." Tony clapped his hand on Steve's shoulder, carefully avoiding looking at the watch on the floor. He had known the Cap still harbored feelings for his lost love, and he had hoped the man would have been able to move past it.

"Remind me of that when it comes your turn." Steve shook his head and went to the mirror in order to straighten out his tie.

"Nah, I'm too cool to cry. Anyway come on, it's time." Tony winked at Steve, continuing to ignore the watch as he left the room.

Steve stood back from the mirror, his heart beating against his ribs as though trying to escape. He stepped up to the fallen watch and was about to pick it up when he heard laughter from down the hall. Darcy. He curled his hand into a fist as he squeezed his eyes shut. It was time to move forward.

Turning away from the watch he marched from the room, smiling as Tony patted him on the back. His future awaited him, it was time to place his past where it belonged, in the past.

* * *

Darcy laughed as Jane, Nat and Pepper bustled around her. She swore they were more nervous than she was, and she was the one getting married. Married. What a strange thing to think about. Even stranger was the fact that she was marrying THE freaking Captain America.

When she had met Steve she had just gotten out of a relationship and hadn't been in the best of places. She had generally liked Ian, he was a good man, but he hadn't taken too well to the life she had become accustomed to since she met Jane. Alien gods, superheroes, they all freaked him out. In the end she ended it and moved back to America with Jane and Thor.

She hadn't been looking for a romance, and in the beginning it hadn't been one. She found his innocence to be endearing, refreshing even. Not even Thor was as chivalrous as Steve was. Looking back on it she realized she had been doomed from the beginning. Nothing could have stopped her from giving her heart away to the man, not even knowing he still loved someone else.

Darcy was no fool, she knew about Peggy and she knew that Steve still loved her. She supposed she should be angry, or sad or something, but she couldn't bring herself to feel any of those things. Steve had been through so much in his life, both past and present. His parents were gone, his best friend was gone, the life he had once was gone. She was sure had he never been frozen Steve would have married Peggy, lived his life with the woman he loved and filled their house with the laughter of their children. She couldn't be angry because all of that had been ripped away from him, and it hurt him.

She loved him with all her heart, and though she knew she only had a part of his she would take it. She would spend the rest of her life making him happy. She knew he would never stop loving Peggy, but she had come to the realization that she simply loved him all the more for it. It was a pure love he had, unsullied by the world and she was glad that he still had that bit of his past to hold on to.

Smoothing out her dress she followed Jane and the others out of the room, stopping only as she came to Steve's room. The door was ajar and she could see the glint of his watch on the floor. She had been with him when he had bought it, teased him about carrying about a pocket watch like an old man. He had given her one of his sweet smiles and rolled his eyes before telling her that he was an old man.

"Darcy, come on, it's about time to start. They'll be waiting on you." Jane watched her friend's eyes well up with tears before shaking them away.

"You go on without me, I'll only be a minute…I forgot my something borrowed. Just go on, I'm not about to be late to my own wedding." Darcy urged Jane on, thankfully after a minute the woman nodded and headed towards the hall with the other bride's maids.

She slipped into the room, bending down to pick the watch off of the floor. She had known what she would see inside before she even looked. Back when they had been nothing more than friends she had hacked into SHIELD's system in order to find out what she could about her friend's past. What she had found along with the information had been several pictures of a woman known as Peggy Carter, a woman that Tony informed her Steve had been head over heels about.

She had printed out one of the best pictures, just a small wallet sized one, and left it in Steve's room. She wanted him to have something of his past, but she hadn't wanted him to know she had snooped into his history. The next day had been when they had gone shopping and he had bought the watch. She had known then what it had been for.

Now she looked down at the smiling face of the woman she shared his heart with. She couldn't hate the woman, not really. With a final deep breath she stood, clicked the watch shut and tucked it away in her bra. She loved Steve and Peggy was a part of who he was, and she wouldn't allow him to throw it away.


	21. Shadow and Fire, Sif

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Twenty-One:
> 
> Character: Lady Sif
> 
> Song: Zombie ~ The Cranberries
> 
> Genre: Angst/Drama
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Maybe a bit for Thor 2, but anything that might have happened on Agent's is out as I am behind on that.
> 
> Rating: M (for images of war and death.)

Shadow and Fire

* * *

Nothing good ever came from war, that had always been Darcy's opinion on the matter. Life was lost on all sides, fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, daughters, wives, sisters and mothers. People died, and for what? For glory, for power, for the illusion of being right and just?

War wasn't pretty, it wasn't glorious. It was blood and screaming, it was death and darkness and a soullessness that crept up to fill even the most righteous. She understood that in their imperfect world it seemed more of a necessity than anything, but she longed for one where she could raise her children in peace. Where no one died because the belief's of someone else, because someone wanted more power and money. Because of unjustified hatred. It was a fruitless wish it seemed.

Darcy rung out the blood stained rag, watching as the pink tainted water dribbled back into the chipped bowl. Placing the cold rag on the forehead of the woman before her she tried not to cry. There would never be a world without war again.

After the defeat of the dark elves everything seemed as though life would once again return to normal. Thor had eventually returned, reuniting with Jane. As for herself, she had begun a relationship with Ian. Life seemed perfectly peaceful, that was until _they_ came.

The dark elves were not the only enemies lurking in the darkness, far out in the vastness of space. Earth was ripe for the picking, and there were those that wanted it for their own. The creatures that came made Loki's attack look like nothing more than a child's tantrum.

First the dark ones came, shadows that spread over the land, devouring everything in their path. Their victims were nothing more than twisted dried out hulls in the end. The Avengers gathered, Bruce, Tony and SHIELD working on a way to fight such creatures. How do you fight darkness, how do you bring it to its knees?

The first casualty came after Tony created a weapon that could kill the shadows. Clint had fallen in the battle, his body twisted unnaturally before his friends as his very essence was sucked out of him. Darcy would never forget what he had looked like when Tony had carried his dried out corpse into the tower. She still woke at night screaming with the image of the frozen scream on his face in her mind.

The serpents came next, great twisting creatures that bathed their world in fire. Most of the UK was lost to them, all nothing but ash now. So many lost, death in flame and spark.

The entire Earth had become a war zone, nation against nation, city against city, all fighting each other and the serpents and shadows. Death was everywhere, people dying in war, killing themselves to be spared from a worse fate. Families broken apart as parents murdered their children and each other.

Darcy had never seen so much carnage, so much hate and despair. She had thought that everything was hopeless until help arrived, even if it was only Sif and the Warriors Three, together with Thor the five of them had taken on entire armies and won. It seemed though that Thor's tales of his victories had been very much embellished as even with their help they continued to lose.

A groan from the woman in front of her made her look down. Sif had come into the makeshift hospital Tony had set up in the tower just the night before. Not that anyone could really recognize the Asgardian woman. The entirety of the right side of her face had been practically burned away, the left side smashed almost to bits. She didn't know how much longer the woman would be able to hold out for, though she had done so for much longer than any human would.

Darcy was no warrior, her only talent with a weapon being her taser. She had wanted to help in some way, and in the end she ended up working in the hospital. She had no training, but then again most of the nurses in the place hadn't any as well. Most of them had been maids, taxi drivers, businessmen and women, teachers, cashiers, waiters, waitresses. There were a few actual nurses and doctors, all of which had given a crash course to the volunteers. No one had time to be picky when the world was burning down around you.

Sometimes Darcy wished she could have done more, mostly after the death of Ian. Once all out war had begun amongst the aliens and between themselves, Ian had quickly signed up for duty as a soldier. He had been adamant about the fact that he would not hide away while others fought for their freedom and safety.

Darcy had tried to persuade him otherwise, but he wouldn't listen and had left without a backwards glance. They had fought, tears and snot, untrue hurtful words that she wished she could take back. His last words to her were that he loved her, hers had been that she hated him.

Tony had been the one to tell her the news of his death, he had taken it upon himself to try and protect him and felt responsible when he had been shot. He had gathered her in his arms when she had fallen to the ground in tears, rocked her as she screamed. He hadn't told her that things would be fine, that her heart would heal. He knew they would have been empty words, just as they had been for him when Pepper had been killed several months before.

Darcy had stopped taking stock of those that had been killed long ago, unable to deal with the ever growing list; Clint, Ian, Pepper, Jane, Nat, Erik…those of importance she had carved their names into the wall of her small room, knowing one day someone would have to be instructed to do the same for her name. And now she feared another would be placed there before the day was out.

Sif's breathing had become laborious, a rattling sound echoing from her chest with each intake. She had tried her best to patch the Asgardian up, cleaning, medicating and wrapping the burns on her face. Still she doubted she had done much good.

Pulling the rag back from Sif's forehead, Darcy cringed at the look of milky pus seeping through the bandages. The once white of the sheets she had used were dotted with blood and pus, creating morbid patters amongst the cheery climbing leaves.

"How does she fare?"

Darcy jolted a bit at the thunderous voice behind her. She closed her eyes before taking a breath and turning to face Thor. The once mighty Asgardian had lost much since the beginning of this damnable war, so much so one could see it just by looking at him. He seemed diminished by it all, curled into himself. He had already lost his mother and brother before all of this, but now he had lost Jane and several of his friends. She didn't want to be the one to tell him he was about to lose another.

"Not good. I'm surprise she has lasted this long actually, had she been human she would have been dead before she ever reached here." Darcy didn't even attempt to smile at him, no one smiled anymore. Thor just nodded his head and came to sit down beside of her.

"We are a strong people, but not indestructible." Thor dropped his head down, his hand reaching out to take a hold of Darcy's. He had taken comfort in the young woman since he had lost Jane. Her friendship was what kept him holding on for so long.

"H-how is it out there?" Darcy really didn't want to know, she didn't want to hear about all that death, but she knew it was better to know beforehand than to be surprised. "Are…are there any other names I need to add to the wall?"

"Steve fell in battle today, taken by Shadow. I am thankful you are here and not out there to witness the wars. I do not think I shall ever be able to forget seeing what those creatures had done to him." Thor leaned over then and placed his forehead on Darcy's shoulder. He didn't care about the fact that he had tears rolling down his cheeks to dampen the torn and dirty shirt his friend wore. Steve had held on for as long as he had been able, but in the end even his enhanced body could not endure the wrath of the shadow. Thor would hear the man's screams until the day he died.

"S-Steve, but he…Oh God…." Darcy wrapped her arms around Thor, holding him close to her as they both mourned for their friend. Darcy had never thought anything could ever happen to Steve, he was indestructible just like the Hulk. She had always believed that Steve, Bruce, Tony and Thor would be the last to die. Those four men were their strongest warriors, if their enemies had been able to kill Steve then they had truly lost.

After a time Thor pulled back, wiped the tears from his eyes and stood up. He looked down at one of his oldest friends for a moment before settling his eyes once again on Darcy.

"I must go, word has reached us that the serpents have taken hold of most of the east. They head for our shores and Tony wishes to head them off."

Darcy felt a lump in her throat. The American eastern shoreline held one of the world's last strongholds. If they broke through the war would be over within days, and the winner would not be any of the Earth factions.

"Go, and…and be careful. Make sure Tony doesn't do anything stupid, you two are all I have left. I don't think I could hold on very much longer if you two died." She was barely holding on now, she had been clinging to the hope that something would happen…some tip of the scales in their favor. Now she knew there was no hope. The Earth was lost and before the week was out she would be dead along with every single human on the planet. All that would remain would be a single wall with a few names carved by a forgotten hand.

Thor didn't speak a word, only leaned down to place a lingering kiss along her brow before turning and departing.

"You have the strength of any Asgardian."

Darcy's head whipped down to look at the woman in the bed. Sif blinked up at her the best she could, but Darcy knew that every minute move pained her.

"I have no strength in me, not anymore." She felt like a run down battery, a burned out fire. All her energy had been drained from her, all that remained was an empty husk that waited for death and release.

"You did not take the cowards way out, you did not hide. You remained in the face of death when others would have long ago fled. No, Darcy Lewis, you are strong. And I am glad that he has you now at the end, no one should die unloved." Sif reached out one broken and burned hand, placing it on Darcy's lap.

"And what about you?" Maybe it was rude of her, but such things as pleasantries and politeness had long ago vanished.

"I die in peace, do not worry about me." Sif took Darcy's hand when the mortal woman placed it in hers. She held on as tightly as she could, enduring the pain that it brought her. She would rather feel the pain, numbness meant death. It would come, and she knew it would come soon, but until then she relished the pain.

For awhile the two remained silent, Darcy holding onto the dying Asgardian's hand while she worked to keep her forehead cool with her free hand. Darcy hated it when one of her patients was dying, but she always remained by their side until the end. She did no different for Sif.

An hour, possibly two passed before Darcy knew it was time. Sif's breathing had become shallower, her grip almost none existent. She watched as the woman sent her a pained smile, the first she had seen in so long. This was the part that left her sick, watching as the light died in their eyes, as their chests stilled.

Sif left quietly, no tears and with a smile still on her lips. Darcy leaned over to place the woman's hand on her chest and close her eyes. A soft kiss to her brow and Darcy covered her with a sheet before leaving to inform one of the doctors that a bed had been freed.

She didn't look back, didn't allow herself time to think as she headed for the small closet she called a room. She closed herself in, lit a candle and grabbed the small pocket knife she kept under her pillow. Carefully she carved two new names into the wall, stopping before filling in four more. She placed the knife down, stepped back to read the list quietly to herself.

Clint

Pepper

Ian

Nat

Jane

Erik

Steve

Sif

Tony

Bruce

Thor

Darcy

After blowing out the candle Darcy returned to the outer rooms, she didn't bother to shut the door or lock the room. She doubted she would get to return there, and she was finally alright with that. Her world was dying around her, but she had been loved and she had loved. What more could she have asked for?


	22. This is War, Hogun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hat-Trick Darcy Lewis Challenge #Twenty-Two:
> 
> Character: Hogun
> 
> Song: Time Warp ~ RHPS Soundtrack
> 
> Genre: Humor/Drama/Friendship/Romance (Not with Hogun)
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Maybe a bit for Thor 2, but anything that might have happened on Agent's is out as I am behind on that. And of course not Cap 2 compliant as I've not seen that yet either.
> 
> Rating: M

Darcy was the self-titled Queen of Randomness. This was a title she took very seriously; she believed it was her duty to make sure to keep every one of her subjects on their toes. Those subjects being the entirety of the Avengers and several of her and their friends. Of course most didn't understand that fact, but she never allowed it to dampen her enthusiasm for her job. That was why when Thor's friends came to visit and she ended up hitting a rather huge brick wall known as Hogun, Darcy simply geared herself up to wage war.

Anyone that had ever been on the receiving end of one of her wars could testify that she always won; Hogun had not a chance in the world. At least that was her belief when she had deployed her first strike; unfortunately Hogun seemed to be made of sterner stuff and had simply ignored her.

Everyone throughout the tower found it hilarious of course. Tony made jokes about how she would have to hand in her crown, Clint laughed, Nat suggested that she needed to try a different tactic to which both Tony and Clint followed up with creating several scenarios that included different foods and didn't include very many articles of clothing. Jane and Pepper had simply rolled their eyes while Thor gave her a secret little smile like he knew something she didn't. Banner didn't seem to care all that much, but Steve admonished her and told her that she should leave the poor man alone.

Whatever the problem was Darcy knew she needed to step up her game, because singing naughty ditties at dinner and running about the tower screaming about penguins was just not cutting it anymore. So when Tony announced that they would be having a movie night that Saturday she began to plan; she would shock the ever living daylights out of Hogun…even if she did have to strip down and jump on his lap.

Her plan began first thing Saturday morning. She had set out everything that she needed the night before, and so after a quick shower she got to work.

* * *

Hogun sat with the rest of the tower's inhabitants around the kitchen table, all but Darcy Lewis that was. He felt the frown on his face turn even further down at the thought of the silly little mortal. It wasn't that he particularly hated the girl, but he didn't particularly like her either. She was strange and kept shouting randomly at him when she passed him in the halls. It was disconcerting, and quite frankly childish. He ignored her most of the time knowing that to do so would only encourage her, only it didn't seem to be working as she just kept on becoming more and more obnoxious as time when on.

The seat next to him pulled out as Thor came to sit beside him. It didn't matter that his friend refused the throne, in his eyes the man would always be his prince.

"You realize if you would just react that she would leave you alone?" Thor looked over at his somber friend. He understood Darcy's behavior towards Hogun, he couldn't count how many times him and the others had tried to get the man to crack a smile or laugh. It was rare, but Hogun could, but he was also very stubborn. His next words only proved how much so.

"I doubt that very much, if I react she will only be spurred on. I do know how to handle children." And that was how he saw her, a child trying to get attention.

"She isn't a child Hogun, she is…well she is Darcy. I know her actions can be a bit…much, but that is just how she is around her friends. You should be honored my brother, she only wants to include you." He laid a hand on his friend's shoulder, gave a squeeze and stood to return to his place beside his Jane.

Hogun wasn't convinced, he couldn't understand why everyone was so drawn to her. So he could admit besides the attention grabbing behavior she was actually pretty nice. She had a smile for everyone and generally worked to make sure all her friends were well taken care of. It was just she was so irritating!

He was pulled from his thoughts as the entire room went quiet. He looked towards the doorway, his breath catching in this throat as he watched Darcy walk in. He had seen her in all manner of clothing since he had come to visit, but nothing like what she was currently wearing.

"Darce, Honey, are you dressed as a…a sexy Wednesday Addams?" Tony blinked, his eyes moving up and down the younger woman's body. Damn, he had known she had a figure, but God Damn!

"Oh, am I? I hadn't noticed, I just pulled something out of my closet." Darcy smiled, just this side of cheeky, and came to sit down beside Hogun and pile food onto her plate.

"Um, why exactly do you have a sexy Wednesday Addams outfit in your closet, and do you happen to have an Elvira one?" Tony ducked out of the way as Pepper and Jane both began to punch him and smack at his head.

"It's an old Halloween costume; I brought a bunch of them when we moved out here. I must have hung this up with my everyday clothes, oh well what can you do?" She shrugged her shoulders before spearing a sausage link on her fork. She looked sideways at Hogun, heat rising in her cheeks in a very unpleasant way when she realized that he was looking steadfastly away from her. Unclenching her teeth she dipped her sausage in a bit of gravy and brought the whole thing to her mouth, sucking off the gravy in a very exaggerated manner. She had hoped for something, a tick in his jaw and shuffle in his seat, but he just ignored her and continued to eat his breakfast. Others were not so blind though, as she heard several male groans and an exclamation when Steve smacked his knee against the bottom of the table. That reaction was something she would have to file away to return to later, who knew that America's good ol' boy didn't have the purest of thoughts.

"Darcy…" Jane watched her friend and assistant, trying her best to hold her laugh in. She knew what Darcy was trying to do, not that she thought the young woman would be successful. Still she couldn't help but find her antics funny.

"What Jane, I like sausages." She shrugged her shoulders again and repeated her actions a couple of more times. Hogun continued to ignore her, but Steve had to excuse himself after she had started to visibly lick the link.

The rest of breakfast was uneventful, Darcy had cooled it down after she realized that her little naughty act failed to hit its mark…well the intended mark at least if the bow legged way Steve was walking was any indication. Again something she would have to examine later, and in very great detail.

The movie marathon wasn't to start until around noon, so Darcy's main attack would have to wait. In the interim she had a few strikes to initiate. She rushed off to her room, shucking her costume on the way. Poor Steve, he probably had a heart attack when she darted by with her dress hanging off her hips. It took a bit of time to prepare herself, but eventually she was on her way to the gym.

It didn't surprise her when she stepped off of the elevator to the fitness level that most everyone was there. Apparently everyone but Hogun knew what was coming. She squared her shoulders and allowed a huge grin to cross her face as Sif smiled and nodded at her. This was one of the few times she had needed anyone's help with her plans, but Hogun was a special case and she needed allies.

Hogun was sparring with Thor when she entered, the two of them using wooden swords than their preferred weapons. It was a rule of Tony's after Thor ended up busting out an entire outside wall during a rather intense training session.

The look on Thor's face when she entered almost made her break character, but she held herself and picked up one of the many practice swords as she headed straight for the pair. She stepped up beside them, feet apart and sword pointed straight at Hogun.

"My name is Darcy Lewis. You killed my father, prepare to die." Everything went quiet as Hogun simply turned to look at her, not even giving her a raised brow.

"Don't really think that reference works Darce, not with that get up!" Tony rolled his eyes at the scene in front of him. Thor looked like he was having trouble keeping it together, and he was sure in a few more minutes the big guy would actually pass out from trying not to laugh. Hogun appeared just as unimpressed as he always had, doing no more than standing at the ready. Darcy on the other hand was practically bouncing as she stood there in Sif's armor, armor that was actually way too small for the curvy young woman. She looked less like a warrior and more like a damned centerfold.

"It would be wise not to challenge me child, you would not win." Hogun had just about had enough of the girl. He also would have to talk to his friends because he was pretty sure the child could not have gotten a hold of Sif's armor without her permission.

"Child?! Ok, so fine I'm not like fucking-star old, but I'm no child!" It was hard enough being the youngest living in the tower, but she was far from a goddamned child. Angry, she swung her sword only to have it blocked by Hogun; she felt the vibration through the wood all the way from her hands to her shoulders. Damn he hit hard.

"You are very much a child, and one unsuited to the battlefield. Stop playing make-believe before you hurt yourself." Hoping to scare her enough to make her live him alone, he moved quickly and in such a way that he disarmed her and had her pinned to the wall with the edge of his sword at her throat. "Or get killed."

Everyone was silent unsure of what to do or say, what had started as a simple joke had taken a rather serious turn. All the Avengers knew that Darcy was no warrior, knew that she had no desire to be, and worried about her as much as they worried about all their friends. Still to see how easily Hogun had disarmed her rattled them.

"All well and fine, but I swear if you don't get the fuck off me I will taze your goddamned balls and them serve them up for dinner with hot sauce." Darcy pressed her hand further against Hogun, the tazer she had secreted away in her costume pressing directly in his crotch. Darcy lived with the fucking Avengers, she never went anywhere without some kind of protection.

A large hand pressed down on Hogun's shoulder, pulling him away from where he was pinning Darcy. Once free she pulled her hand back and smacked him across the face before stomping off and out of the gym. Hogun turned to look at Thor as the other man's hand fell back down against his thigh.

"That was uncalled for, she was merely playing." Thor had much respect for his friends, both old and new, but he never felt more ashamed of one than he did now.

"It was a necessary demonstration; she needs to get any delusions of the battlefield out of her head." Hogun could see the others moving to stand around him out of the corner of his eyes and he wondered if he had miscalculated just how much they cared for the girl.

"That was not a demonstration; you were trying to teach her a lesson. And I can guarantee it had nothing to do with battle, you were telling her to leave you alone." Steve moved to stand beside Thor, his hands clutched into fists at his sides.

"As I said it was necessary." Hogun turned around, taking a few steps towards the door before he was stopped by the voice of his friend and prince.

"I do not understand why you have taken such a dislike to Darcy; she only wants to be your friend. Dislike her, hate her all you like, I can not sway your feelings on the matter, but do know if you ever pull a stunt such as this again there will be very severe repercussions. Darcy is my friend, and just as I have sworn to protect this planet I have sworn protection and loyalty to her." Thor watched as his friend stood still as he spoke, but said nothing as he left as soon as he finished.

"Well, I say we should have let her just taze him." Tony rocked back on his heels, hands tucked in pockets as he joked. Ok so he was only half joking, had Thor not pulled Hogun off Darcy he would have just allowed it all to play out. Darcy may not have been a warrior in the traditional sense, but she could hold her own. Something that so many of them seemed to forget.

"As much as it pains me to say it, but I agree with Tony." Clint looked between everyone, seeing most of them nodding in agreement. He liked Hogun, even if he could be a bit of a party pooper, but there was no reason for him to have acted in such a way with Darcy.

"I fear I may be at fault in this, I encouraged this stunt when Darcy asked for my assistance." Even though she had known Hogun's feeling for the mortal, she had hoped that after a while her friend would see that the girl wanted nothing more than to simply make him smile.

"No Sif, the fault is on Hogun's shoulders. We have all informed him on several occasions about the reasoning to Darcy's behavior, but he has insisted to ignore our advice and persisted in his animosity against the woman. Darcy is no warrior, and Hogun knew this when he attacked her, Steve was correct about his intentions; he wanted to scare her away. It is unbecoming behavior in a warrior and a gentleman." He blamed himself, so many years ago when they had been younger he had encouraged his friends to be cruel. He carried the guilt for much of that behavior towards his brother. He was supposed to have been leading by example, and he had given a bad one when he had been younger.

"Someone should probably check on Darcy, the attack was bad enough, but have had it happen in front of us all…" Tony trailed off knowing that everyone would understand. Darcy was a strong woman, but such an embarrassment could easily shake her.

"I'll go; I have a pretty good idea where she went." Clint headed towards the door only to be stopped by a hand on the shoulder. Somehow it didn't surprise him to see Steve beside him. He nodded his head towards the door and the two went in search of their friend.

* * *

Darcy knew it was stupid, to actually be crying like the child that Hogun said she was. She was going on twenty-five for fuck's sake! Still she could feel the phantom press of the wooden sword to her throat and the heat of embarrassment in her cheeks.

She curled up in a tighter ball when she heard the door to the lab slide open. She didn't think anyone would think to look for her to be tucked up under an old forgotten desk in the back, but she didn't want to risk it. She almost gasped when the desk moved when someone sat on it, two someones actually.

"Fifty says that she actually goes through with her threat by the end of the night." Clint scooted back a bit on the desk while Steve just leaned against it. He pointed at the desk to indicate where Darcy was and Steve just nodded.

"I might have been on ice for some time, but I assure you it didn't affect my brain. I'm not stupid enough to make that bet. If I was Hogun I wouldn't leave my room until it was time to go home." Steve felt a knot form in his stomach when he realized that Darcy was under the desk trying to hold in her tears.

"True, mostly after the way Thor and you let into him. Plus I'm pretty sure that Tony is planning something and I can assure you that Nat was this close to actually castrating him." Clint pressed his forefinger and thumb so close together they were almost touching. He actually wasn't kidding about that, Nat had gone for the knife she always kept hidden in her jeans and Clint had noticed Tony sending JARVIS a discreet message on his phone. Hogun was about to find out just how protective the Avengers were of one of their own, and Darcy was definitely one of them.

"I almost feel sorry for him…almost." Steve laughed and shook his head, he normally would scold Tony for enacting revenge, but this time he felt the itch to join in.

"Maybe a bit, but only because I know firsthand what Nat is capable of. Hell I know what Darcy is capable of, did she ever tell you about the time she tazed Thor?" The two of them laughed at that, the story being one of Thor's favorite. He respected Darcy the most out of all of them, said that she had more courage than all of them combined. She had been scared but she had done what she thought needed done in order to protect her friends.

"Look, I promised Tony that I would help out set up this for this afternoon so I'm going to go." It wasn't really a lie, he had promised to make his world…ok tower famous drinks, but those were best made fresh. Still he had a feeling that it would be best if Steve were the one to speak to their girl, mostly if he was correct about their feelings.

Steve nodded and made a motion with his hands that told Clint he would take care of Darcy. He waited until the other man was gone before standing and pulling the desk back until the girl was revealed. Darcy looked up at him with her tear streaked cheeks and gave him a weak innocent smile.

"Hi." She should have known they had realized she was there, hell she was sure they had known the moment they entered the room. Damn them.

"Hi." Steve sat down on the floor beside her and in a move that seemed so unlike him, he reached out and pulled her into his arms. Darcy curled up against him, one hand curled around to press against his back and the other resting on his chest beside her cheek.

"I'm silly, I know. I'm an adult and I should be acting like one, not pulling pranks or crying over being called on it. You had told me." She refused to look up at him, afraid to see the 'I told you so' look on his face. He had told her to leave Hogun alone, but she had refused to listen.

"You're not silly, and I don't think anyone here would be happy if you stopped pulling pranks." He had never been a fan of the jokes and pranks, but most of the time they were funny and they always caused her eyes to go bright with joy.

"I highly doubt that, I know I annoy you just as much as Hogun. You are just too good of a man to say anything." She curled her hand in the material of his shirt, if she hadn't felt like a child before, she did now. She was just waiting for the lecture from Captain America about acting her age and apologizing to Hogun for bothering him.

"You don't actually." Steve laughed a bit when Darcy's head shot up and she shot him a look that clearly said she didn't believe him.

"I'm not lying. Look, yes you can come off a bit…much at times, but I actually do enjoy the way you are. We all do. What we do…it can be intense and we are left with more injuries than the physical and when we get home it is nice…more than nice to have you here with a smile on your face and in your eyes. You help us deal with all that death and destruction by making us laugh; you show us that there are still happy and bright things out there. You are our little slice of sunshine and no one wants you any different." He wasn't sure if he hadn't laid it on a little thick, but everything he said had been the truth. Whenever any one of them came back from a mission she was there ready to care for them, to tell jokes and tease them as she fed and cleaned them up. Many times he had awoken in the middle of the night from nightmares and walked into the kitchen only to be followed by a sleep ruffled Darcy. She would smile at him, run her fingers through his messy hair and then proceed to make him her great-great-grandmother's hot cake. By the time he had eaten the entire thing and gone back to bed he would be relaxed enough he would fall into a dreamless sleep.

Looking down at her and the tears he saw forming in her eyes he wondered if it was not only too much, but if he had said something wrong. He reached up with his free hand and started to wipe away the tears, frightened that he had done more harm. She smiled widely at him just as he was about to apologize.

"And here Tony thought you couldn't talk to women." She laughed and pulled herself up enough that she was perfectly level with his face. "In fact I think maybe out resident lady's man could in fact learn a thing or two from you." Her laugh turned to more of a giggle as Steve's face turned bright red.

"Oh well…I…I was just telling the truth." The fingers he had started to curl into her hair were pulled back quickly as he went to rub the back of his neck, only he couldn't make it that far as Darcy clasped onto his wrist and made him return his fingers to her hair.

"That is what makes it even better, no false praises." She leaned in, the hand on his chest moving to curl around his neck. "I hope you realize that I'm going to kiss you now."

"Now that I would be terribly upset about if you didn't." Steve laughed at the goofy smile he was sure he was wearing, not that the sound lasted long as he felt Darcy's lips press to his. The kiss wasn't anything mind-blowing; it was simple and almost timid. Still it took his breath away and he would admit only to Darcy that he whined when she pulled away. Not that she moved far, pressing her forehead against his.

"I just wish that I could get some reaction out of him…I mean one that doesn't involve him calling me a child and threatening me." She pressed her free hand against her throat, unable to get the feeling of that wooden sword out of her mind.

"I think I might have an idea, if you are game that is?" Until his dying day Steve would always remember the ornery look Darcy had given him, and the feeling it left in his chest. Maybe he was just attracted to those sorts of people, but he was sure it had been that look that had caused him to fall in love with her.

* * *

Later, much later since the gym incident put things off, everyone had gathered in the common room for the movie marathon. Tony had gone all out; the place actually looked like a freaking theater had thrown up in it. Darcy shook her head as she entered the room, her eyes landing on the popcorn machine that actually was the size of an entire wall.

She held her head up high and went to sit down in the empty space beside Steve that he had saved for her. She was her same cheerful self, laughing and joking with everyone…well everyone but Hogun, him she ignored and even refused to look at. No one said anything about it, and she was sure that Steve had informed them about what she was doing. And also about the change in their relationship if the cheeky looks and winks she was getting from Tony were any indication. And so the marathon went on, she joked with everyone and ignored Hogun.

For his part Hogun wasn't sure what was going on. He had expected that one of two things would happen once the gathering commenced. She would either entered with her shoulders slumped like a properly scolded child, or she would completely ignore him and try to prank him again. So he was surprised, and more than a little suspicious when she walked into the room wearing normal clothing and proceeded to ignore him. In fact she ignored him all afternoon and into the evening, she hadn't even looked at him once. Strangely enough this set him on edge and he found himself grinding his teeth.

He couldn't seem to keep his attention to what the mortals called movies, his eyes were almost riveted to the girl. Not that she seemed to notice, she was too busy curling up against the Captain and laughing along with everyone else. Sif was lounging on the floor at the girl's feet regaling her with tales from their past battles while the Man of Iron teased her hair from his perch on the back of the sofa. He had to admit that he hadn't realized just how much she made the others smile, how much they all cared for her. It was a little disconcerting, it was very disconcerting actually.

"You could have had that with her had you not been so hard with her. Darcy can be a bit childish yes, but we need her that way. She has a way of soothing a warrior's heart; life doesn't have to be all about blood and war." Thor sat down beside his friend, an entire fried chicken in his hands.

"I never said I wanted a friendship with the mortal." In his opinion such a friendship wouldn't be worthwhile, humans lasted too short a time to spend your energy on. Still he couldn't help the strange feeling he got when he saw his friends conversing with the girl.

"Maybe not, but maybe you needed one. My brother, we have lived so long and we will live far longer, we tend to forget the important things. They may be fleeting, but they are so full of life, more so than any on Asgard. Since I have first arrived here I have learned much, and I have found that I have changed for the better.

"I steered you and the others wrong when we were younger, showing you that cruelty to those we may have believed our inferiors was acceptable behavior. For that I am sorry." Thor patted Hogun's shoulder and stood to join Jane across the room where she was currently teasing Darcy about the new development between her and Steve.

Hogun watched for a moment before standing and walking out to the balcony to look out over the city. It wasn't long before he was joined by another. He turned expecting Sif ready with a lecture much the same as Thor, but was surprised to find Darcy.

"Am I to expect you to start singing or maybe a dance?" He turned back out towards the city, watching the girl only out of the corner of his eye.

"No, because I'm done. I wash my hands of you." Darcy wrung her hands in a manner reminiscent of Lady Macbeth before turning to rest her hips against the railing. "If you want to remain a stodgy old stick in the mud, go right ahead, I couldn't give a fuck. I am done trying to be your friend or even to make you smile. You want to believe that I'm some child, fine that is your choice. Just know this…" She pushed off the railing and stepped to the door.

"All I wanted was you to smile because it hurt me to see you look so sad. You are a friend of Thor's and Thor is like a brother to me, I couldn't stand to see someone he loves in so much pain." She opened the door, but a hand on her arm stopped her from stepping inside. She didn't turn around at first, she waited until she had the door shut and then turned to look up into the still frowning face.

"I'm not in pain." Hogun let his hand slip back down to his side. He was unsure why he had stopped the girl from returning inside, surely it would turn out to be a mistake.

"You keep telling yourself that and maybe one day you will actually believe it." Darcy sighed, Steve's plan seemed to have been working so far. She hadn't thought it would, it seemed to easy; ignore him while he drives himself crazy wondering when she would finally strike. So far though Hogun had reacted just how Steve said he would. "Look, I never wanted to upset you. This is just the way I am. I act silly and random at times, but it is only because I like to make people smile. But if it bothers you so much I promise I will leave you alone."

"Why would you want to make me smile, you don't even know me?" Hogun watched as the girl shrugged her shoulders and took a step back towards the doors. There was something in the way she held herself that suggested maturity. He wasn't sure how he had missed it before.

"Did I need to? The way I see it, it doesn't matter if you have known someone ten years or ten minutes, if you can make them smile then everything is worth it. There is a lot of bad in the world already, I don't need to be adding to it." She gave a half smile of her own and turned back towards the door, the pressure of a hand on her shoulder stopped her once again.

"I fear that between us I have been the one behaving quite childish. I had believed you had been acting out in order to garner attention, and ignored you in hopes that you would stop." Hogun was unused to the feeling of being wrong, he didn't like it but he was mature enough to own up to his behavior.

"You know, had you just told me to stop I would have." Darcy felt a full-fledged smile start to creep up on her when she noticed Hogun actually rolling his eyes.

"I shall never live this down. Thor had told me such the same thing many times since our arrival, but I had ignored him. He is unbearable when he is right." Hogun would not hear the end of this, not even after a couple of hundred years.

"Well, that will teach you to go against your prince." Darcy laughed a little, unable to hold it in when she noticed how bothered Hogun was at the idea. Quieting down she held out her hand. "Truce."

Looking the girl up and down, Hogun shook his head before taking the offered hand with a smile. "Truce."

Movement behind the glass doors caught his attention and he groaned as Thor stepped forward with a smug grin on his face. He would never live this down, not in a several lifetimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Ok this is the last of this set, though I do have another series of Hat Trick I plan to do, starting with five Tasertricks Oneshots.
> 
> Sorry it has taken me awhile to get this out, but first I lost my internet and then second my computer just died on me, and since I have no job at the moment I'm writing on my mum's laptop and posting at the library. So sadly that means that updates will be few and far between. Though I will be trying to have several chapters and whatnot to post each time I can, still it will be far between.
> 
> Now I know that the song doesn't seem to fit, the connection is really just in my screwed up brain. The song brings to mind that fact that when my sister and I were younger we used to stop and do the time warp in the middle of the store when it came on the radio during Halloween. So I had this idea of Darcy going out shopping with Hogun while he was visiting and then that didn't happen and this sort of happened and then it went sort of dramatic therein the gym and yeah. Also not sure where the Shieldshock romance came from, probably from reading so many of them lately. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> **Disclaimer:** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


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